Aspiring Nigerian Woman

Almost a year...

2009-09-16T11:19:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it has been almost one year since I last blogged. Being a mum is a full time job oh!. I am trying to get back into work and the job market is not even funny at all.

I think I am back

2008-11-24T05:44:00.000-08:00

Wow, I can’t believe I am back here. I was actually going to call it a day and stop blogging for good. Saying that, I have been roaming other people’s blog and dropping alot of anonymous comments, because I am too lazy to log in.

What have I been up to?

Regrets: I wish I never did it
A lot of things have been happening to me since I last blogged. I have been dealing with a lot of issues, but God has been faithful; life is good.

I recently wished I never did something I did 7 years ago (21yrs), it is one of those things I thought I had a figured out, but now I completely regret it. I have spent the last 2months looking back and wishing I never did it, wishing I knew better or someone actually told “why I should not do it”… This is the one regret I have in my life right now. I am not beating myself over it, but I am simply wondering what life will be right now and maybe how better things would have turned out if I never did.

Letting go…
I have also spent the last 5months simply “letting go…” letting others make their own mistakes, no matter how painful and hurtful it is watching them take the wrong path. One of my friends told me that I might be wrong and my view might not be only way…. I beg to differ, especially when it comes to your own family

Becoming a mother…
Yes oh! WE are having a baby next year. It is the most thrilling experience I have ever been through. Everyday is different, sleepless nights, backaches, swollen feet, swollen hands, big belly, bigger hips, fat, fat fat! Hubby and I have been window shopping for nursery things and of course, not agreeing on most things… the joy of being pregnant. I think it is going to be a girl, ‘cos hubby is always playing with only baby girls… I think he also wants a girl anyway (believe it or not). He has a favourite baby girl (one of his friend’s baby) and believe me; hubby can talk about this baby without getting tired, even if you interrupt him when he is watching Arsenal.

All my friends hate me right now…
I don’t call anyone anymore. I am too tired to pick up phone calls or even call anyone. I just want sleep and sleep.

Mother in law or own mother
I don’t know about anyone else, but I prefer my mother-in law to my mum right now. My mum is driving me crazy. She comes up with the weirdest things on earth and her words are so hurtful something. I don’t call her very often anymore, ‘cos there will always be one drama or the other!

Sisters or brother?
Why don’t I have brothers instead of sisters? Sisters are something else!

I am inspired
Obama’s victory continues to inspire me and I really wish the guy well. Dragon’s den stories even inspire me more. When will my big idea come? When will I become a millionaire and live the life of luxury?

Credit crunch
I am leaving my job in 5weeks for obvious reasons… the credit crunch. My company made a lot of people redundant and my contract will not be renewed. My team was split up etc. Anyway, I am not afraid; I will not be looking for anything else, until the baby comes. Of course, I am thinking of taking more exams… if I don’t come up with my “big idea” whilst I am at home, my contingency plan is to work towards being a programme director. I think it should only take me another 2years. I will be going for programme manager roles next year… and take it from there. Wish me luck

Naija politics
Where do I start? Infact, lets forget it. Have you seen the profiles of the proposed new ministers? About 5 of them have no formal qualifications apart from national diplomas. With all the educated people in Nigeria?.... baba yardy is joke.

Life updates

2008-07-29T03:16:00.000-07:00

I really can’t get this love blog going. I have a pile of drafts of post somewhere in my inbox, but I think I would have to stop because my better half is quite a private person and I am beginning to think he will catch up with me sooner rather than later. He works in IT and he is very good finding stuffs on the Internet. It is only a matter of time before he sees this blog.

General life updates.

I work with some girl at work and she is really horrible. She seems to have drawn a battle line between myself and her and she constantly undermines me and makes emails a battle front. I work for one of the biggest financial houses in the world and it is really a shame to see that despite all their stringent interview processes, they still manage to hire people that seem to want to either make life hard for others or simply will not be professional. Trust me, I don’t have to be friends with any other at work, but I expect complete mutual respect for anyone, regardless of the job title or position. She actually makes me nervous.. and have a really tough skin. I definitely have no intention to stay longer than the length of my contract. To think that the project itself is not complicated or difficult and it is just people adding a layer of complication to the project. She is very defensive of her deliverables and will never take any responsibility for failures or issues made by her team. It is like she feels the need to “put me in place” all the time, which is a difficult possible to be in, if you are a business rep and accountable to the business; not a technical function. She is by far the worse technical lead I have ever dealt with. We tried to have a chat about it 2months ago and I actually cleaned the slate and started from that point, but so far, she has been a nightmare. Anyway, I am counting down to the end of my contract here. I have not worked hard all my life to be constantly undermined by someone like her. She has also kick –start a wave of bad reviews for me. I have never experienced anything like this before but she has a “reporting to your boss” attitude. I have had constant feedbacks of “she lack….” All coming/originating from her ONLY.

How do I do my work and yet handle this girl?

I went to a wedding this weekend and saw all the “cult boys” that I went to school with, in another life. I heard they are all yahoo boys now and it was so embarrassing to realise that I actually said hello to one of them and he remembered me and then introduced me to others… It was like being one’s worse nightmare. To think that people actually make a career decision to be fraudsters... shocking in many ways.

Part 1: How dangerous is love?

2008-07-04T03:32:00.000-07:00

I would like to do a series, this month on the matters of the heart and try to lay bare my innermost thoughts. Here goes my first post. Happy reading.

People talk about how wonderful love is, how kind, sweet and perfect it feels when you are in love, but today, I want to explore how dangerous love really is and maybe attempt to explore the fear that is attached to being in love. I know many people may never think about this when they are in love and would rather focus on the good bits and the perfection of love. I am quite the opposite. I have a wandering mind that allows me to explore the good and bad of any situation. The ability to do this should influence my decision; but I will be lying if it has ever had anything to do with matters of my heart. So here is my story…

I sometimes, try to describe the kind of love that I have for my husband and sometimes, even when I think about it, it stirs up such powerful emotions, that threatens to tear my soul from my spirit (if you obviously believe soul is different from spirit). I met someone recently and I tried to describe the love I have for my husband and the only thing I could say is that “he is my life” and “all that I live for”. I did not even have to think about it, it just pop out of my mouth!

What I said that day is still on my mind and I get realty terrified to think that I have given myself to another fallible human being like this.

So, here is the dangerous side of the love I feel

I see a tomorrow, with no end to the love I have for you; even is you ever leave me.

I love you to even accept that you may stop loving me some day.

In my heart, I continue to will you to fulfil your potential, even at the expense of losing you to your dreams.

I love you to accept that if I die, I would want you to meet someone else and make a life with that woman.

I love you to accept that you may love our children and share a greater bond with them.

I love you enough to accept that I may not be the only source of your happiness.

I love you to accept that all that you will never change and all I don’t like about you will never go away.

I love you so much to accept that you may stop me from fulfilling my destiny, outside of marriage.

CHANGE, we can believe in

2008-06-04T14:02:00.000-07:00

Obama made it. He has written his name in the book of history! The first black man, in the histroy the United States of America to be nominated as a presidential candidate. People say race and the clour of of your skin remains a controversial issue in the U.S and the rest of the world, I agree, but change is here.

Obama is the face of the new "black race", he is the face of the faceless and voiceless black man and woman in the world, who have been told they will never amount to anything. Obama is the face of teh oppressed black,white,male and female, child and adult, that will help unite the world.

Obama is the change that the world needs. He is the refreshing voice of a better and united world. Obama will listen to the oppressed, the poor, the rich and he will provide the path of light, to take us to the "promise land journey"... the promised land is a continuous journey and we have lost our way.

Obama: The world is tired of the wars in the middle east, the faminine, hunger and corruption in Africa. We need to sit down with the "these people" and find a solution to all the tears and suffering.

Many many things dey happen

2008-05-22T14:08:00.000-07:00

There must be a God
Remember my friend that I blogged about any weeks ago, who was looking for a job, well guys, he just landed himself a six figure sum. I am so happy for him. If anyone deserved it, it is definitely him. It is a reminder to me and everyone else that God is there, he listens and he is faithful. He fulfills his promise to us! I am seriously tapping into my friend's blessing and my wait and everyone else's wait is over.

Iyabo Obasanjo
I heard she was held in custody for 48hrs and then granted bail. How can you grant bail to someone that has refused to visit EFCC to answer corruption allegations against her? Wonders shall never end. A whole ex-president's daughter, a senator and yet she refused to visit EFCC to explain herself. Nigerians have absolutely no respect for the rule of the land, even when they are part of the law! Her father is still caught up in his past, with all the wasted money spent on power generation. e go better oh!

My hairdresser
I met a wonderful lady recently and it is very rarely that I meet Nigerian girl/lady that actually impress/challenge me. She is well known in the "upcoming Nigerian girls living in London circuit". She is an educated young lady, that has followed her calling of hairdressing. We had a good chat about almost everything and I was impressed by her breath of knowledge and interest. She is into theatre, reads loads of books, knows her politics - UK and the world etc. She even attends a book club! What can I say about this lady, she is very rare!... I don't really want to mention her name, 'cos I would rather not let this go back to her.

Facebook
What is it with people that use facebook to show off? My "friend" and I are always laughing at people that use facebook to "keep up with the Jones". Why would you really want to tell the world where and what you are doing? I don't get it at all. Do you really want 500friends, including the whole world know that you are in China right now and you are on your way to France the next day? I thought status update is really for quirky and fun updates. What is it about the pictures and everyone's comments? For the people keep tagging me in ugly pictures, PLEASE STOP( I am still trying to figure out how to untag myself from other people's pictures). People leave comments on pictures that are clearly not flattering!!!!!!!!! One of my school mates, had a picture of his wife, in the labour room, with her belly exposed.. all the stretch marks. God, how unflattering, I thought these are personal pictures that should not be for the whole world to see? Enough of the ranting, people stop putting your lives on facebook. It is very silly!!!!!!!

Obama and Clinton
Obama is on his way to victory and make history. Go Obama, go Obama... Many people say Clinton should step down and let Obama go on. I say let her continue to fight on. She is also part of this history, the first woman to attempt to make it to the white house and really if she stepped down, people will always say that Obama won off the back of a woman that stepped down.

I am reading Barrack Obama's book: The Audacity of Hope. Also reading " Rich dad, Poor dad. I will keep you updated about what I think about Obama.

Politics and me
I am thinking of joining the conservative party, at a local/grassroot level. People say I am too blunt and will not do well as a politician. I am going to test myself in the next 3weeks, when I will be attending a conference (sustainable power generation in Nigeria) with Nigerian politicians. I will see if I can hold my tongue, when I am seated at a table to Bankole ( house of rep) or the minister of Power. I will keep you all posted.

I miss blogging

2008-05-10T06:13:00.000-07:00

hi everyone,

I hope life is good and the world of blogging is doing good. Life has been very busy recently, with my new job and I tend to leave work after 6pm, and by the time I head to the gym and eat dinner, I am too tired to even go online. Don't worry, I will be back soon.

Update update...

2008-04-16T03:28:00.000-07:00

A got the job!
Yes baby, I am off to work in the financial sector. I am leaving telco, after 2 years; looking for a fresh challenge. I was not sure I was going to get the job, because it was a very informal interview, very American style. Anyway, contracts have been signed and sealed. The best part about the job is that it is in London and only 35mins from home.

Hubby away
Hubby has been working away from home for the last 4weeks! I only get to see him at the weekends. He works for a consulting company and his current client is somewhere in Cambridge. I thought it was going to be easy, but 4weeks already and I feel like I am single again!

Passed my driving test!
Yes baby, I finally passed my driving test last weekend. I still can't get over it. I still have not been in a car, 'cos my car needs to be fixed. I think it needs a new engine. Can you imagine that, after 6years of trying to pass my test and when I finally do, there is no car to drive. Anyway, hubby plans to fix it next week and then, I will be rolling. My first stop will be my ex-school daughter's house. I have not been to the silly girl's house in 2years. Imagine that. I definitely owe her a visit. I am claiming back all my friends!!!!

I want a new car, I have been dreaming about this car for a long time now. I want the latest Honda HRV!!! I don't do hire purchase, I don't believe in having something i can't fully pay for, of course with the exception of a house!

Maybe I will be able to buy it in 3 years, when it alot cheaper.

Why am I aspiring Nigerian woman?

2008-04-03T05:59:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me this question and it made me laugh, infact it got me thinking a lot. So, here is why I am what I am

Aspiring: Aspiring is all that defines me and all I do. I can’t think of anything else that defines my purpose in life. I have always aspired and continue to aspire to be someone, somewhere or somebody. I am always looking for opportunities, new things, new beginnings and new adventures. I don’t believe in endings, there is always another path or road lurking somewhere. Once I finish something, I am already looking for another opportunity. I don’t believe in sitting still. I don’t believe in closed doors, there is always an opened door somewhere else.

Nigerian Woman: When I think about my strengths and weakness, this is what defines it. I am a woman, trying to succeed in an historical male dominated environment and society. Being a woman is my strength, ‘cos when it every little success I achieve, it becomes exaggerated and leads to recognition.. Recognition opens the doors for greater things.

My colour and race is also a strength or weakness. Africa is a fertile ground for great things and I believe I have born Africa and Nigeria to set my name in the sculpture of its history.

How I am going to do this is a different story entirely. I can only aspire, hence Aspiring Black/Nigerian Woman.

Zimbabwe... will change come?

2008-04-01T05:27:00.000-07:00

A new Zimbabwe?
Zimbabweans and the rest of the world are anxiously waiting for the recent election results. Is there going to be a change? Will Zimbabweans stand up to the 28years rule of the only president they have ever known? Will the fallen lion of Africa step aside and let the voice of the people prevail? What becomes of a generation that has only known one president and one ruler?

My 2kobo;
Change is a necessity and the only guarantee of hope and a better tomorrow in any democratic society, where the will of the people is allowed to oil the wheels of democracy.

I join my faith with the people of Zimbabwe and say change will come. 'the pharoah and Egypt we see yesterday, we shall see no more"

purpose

2008-03-26T02:51:00.000-07:00

Guys,

I followed by conscience yesterday and had a serious heart to heart talk with my friend. I spoke to her about her career and making something out of herself. Our conversation went well and she opened up to me. I am going to be keeping an eye on her for a while and encouraging her. I am sure herself ad her husband will be fine. About her being violent, I am taking it in prayer, there is no point preaching to her, she is a “serious born-again, devil bashing, tongue speaking Pentecostal” I am on a 7days fasting, from today. I am fasting with one of my good friends, he has been looking for a post MBA job for a while now and the Lord laid it in my heart yesterday to agree with him in prayer and fasting. I keep asking God for a message for my friend and teh only think that keep coming back to be is Matthew 16:19-34, Hebrew 11.

I am one of those people that anything I fast about anything; provided God has laid it in my heart, his promise will always come to past and be fulfilled. I also have a few more things I am taking to God in prayer. I have done my bit and waiting for God to do its bit.

Please pray for my mum, she is back to school and taking exams all the week, I called the poor woman yesterday and she is some hotel in Jos, studying through out the night. I really don’t want to be in her shoes, when I am at that age.

I had one of those days yesterday… thinking about my ultimate purpose in life. As a child, I have always felt that I have a mission, greater than myself, that I have being brought to this earth to fulfil. I am not sure what it is, but I am certain that it has something to do with my career and ambition in life. I have been told a number of times, by different people that they feel like I am on a mission. I also have a friend that I believe is set for greatness. She is one of those people that when you meet her, you either lover her or hate/dislike her. She is a journalist and I believe she is going to win a famous prize one day. I just heard that she has been invited to an exhibition. I am so proud of her!!!! She is going to be one of my unborn children’s godmother. I love the girl to bits. I am also praying for her to come back to her faith and her connection with God.

Does anyone else feel like they are on a mission… or they are set to accomplish something bigger and greater than they can ever imagine?

Things are not all that it seem...

2008-03-23T09:07:00.000-07:00

Everything is not all it ever seems. I just found out that one of my best friends is being violent with her husband. I don't mean the shoving and pushing fights, I mean the hitting her husband and throwing things at him. I am very shocked, not just because I ever thought she was like that, but because they are "serious Christians". I was very surprise and it all goes to show that one should never judge a book by its cover. One of their biggest challenges is money and the wife- my friend is extremely lazy. I just don't get it, why a woman or anyone would wait for someone else to fend for them. I can not imagine my life without making my own money and having my own income. I can not imagine, my life without a career; even if I have 100 kids. I will always work. My mother worked all her life and at 51, she is back to school, taking her accounting qualifications that she did not complete 'cos she fell pregnant. She raised three children herself, without any financial support from any man. My Christian friend is spoilt and she comes for a "well to do family"...which is not an excuse not to buckle up when things become difficult. I have tried talking her a few times, but she always seems to want her husband to bring in the money. I think her parents are slightly disappointed that she did not marry a "rich guy" and they are partly to blame, 'cos heaven knows that I will never bring up my kids to be lazy. Laziness and not wanting to be something in life is a curse on its own. My husband is not rich but he is extremely hard working and refuses to let me pay any household bills, but I will never stop working. I don't wait for him to buy stuff in the house, book holidays, and give money to my friends or family and our relationship works well. We have never fought about money, we maintain separate accounts and he is not interested in what I do with my money; as long as I am not excessive. One thing is certain, he is confident that I can run all the expenses in the house, not matter what happens to him. He knows that all bills can be paid, should he not be able to do so and he knows that I am a serious saver. I don't take "good times" for granted, because I know there will always be hard times. I have experienced it in the past and I am always looking ahead, praying, and planning working for tomorrow.

My home is Nigeria; the west is like a going to the farm for me, I must take home all the harvest and I must not waste my youth being idle!!!!!!!!! What will I take back home?

I am very sad about my friend, 'cos I love her so much, but I am very disappointed. I know there are always two sides to a story, but the fundamental issue is that she is lazy and she uses her children as an excuse not to buckle up and make something out of her own life. When her children are old enough, what would they look up to; a stay-at-home mummy? I am not disrespecting stay- at-home mums, because they do a fantastic job, but if you can not afford to do so, then you must get out the house and bring money home. You children will not thank you if you can not put clothes on their backs or put food on their plates. Her husband is moving around with alot of burden, 'cos he needs help and he needs her to buckle up and sort herself out; but she is not willing to do so. I am very sad and I really want to talk to her. My husband says I should mind my own business, but these people are very dear to me and sometimes, I don't believe in this Yoruba mentality/Nigerian mentality that “married people should be left alone". If I am messing up, I want to believe that any of my good friends can call me to order, with love and in my quiet times, I will reflect on what I was told. What should I do guys? Have a chat with my friend about her career and kick her butt out of the house, to a meaningful career?

finding a way...

2008-03-20T13:20:00.000-07:00

life is moving very fast. March is turnign out to be deciding month for me. My present employer offerred me an extension, but I am reluctant to take it. It feels like it is time to move on. I need a fresher challenge.

I had an interview today, not sure I will get the job; not because I don't think I can do it, but because I found the interview tedious and my enthausism did not show during the interview. The company is not where I want to be on a long term, but it is a stepping stone to where I am going. In hindsight, I wished I performed better... but if I was offerred the job, I might accept the offer. My present boss will be very sad to see me go... but I feel it is time I move on.

I just completed by six sigma green belt training. Holla if you know any lean sigma green belt opportunities out there.

I am off on a mini MBA course latter this year... by the grace of God, so fingers crossed. I feel like I need to get back to the classroom. I hope I get into the school, I feel like I need the extra vavaroom to keep me on top of my game.

Devil, pastors and churches in Nigeria...can you tell the difference?

2008-03-18T03:34:00.001-07:00

The devil and poverty
What is it with Nigerians and the devil? Anything goes wrong and accusing fingers are pointed to the devil. Infact, I am directing this question to the devil, what is it with you and Nigerians? Why the devil is attracted to poor people or poverty? Why the lack of anything has something to do with the devil? This story is so dear to my heart, ‘cos over the weekend, I heard so much from someone dear to my heart about how the devil is dealing with someone that is yet to have a baby. Nigerian girl is pregnant and goes to a crap hospital that has no scanner, hence you have to go to another “backyard scanning centre” to check delivery date and depending on the “backyard scanning centre” you go to, pregnant girl gets about 5 delivery dates, with a variation of 5weeks. Pregnant girl refuses to have the baby induced or a caesarean, ‘cos of the devil and pregnant girl resorts to going from one church to the other, speaking to pastors, of course, as soon as you present a Nigerian pastor with a potential problem, they automatically assume that someone and the devil is to blame. The pastors never provide the name of the accuser, but you are left to fast and pray. Make them give me name of person wey de do me, make I send police go arrest am!

The best part of this is that it has something to do with the fact that she maybe having a boy instead of a girl! I swear, after the conversation, I was tempted to pray for the devil itself, from all these accusations.

We Nigerians are always looking for someone to blame of our woes, there must be a force behind anything and anything that does not work for us. I watch everyday, as loads of Nigerians can not put pen to paper about how to get to where they are going. All they want is to make money, whether they have capital to start a business or even have a business idea is irrelevant. I heard about a final year medical student wanting to immigrate to the UK with no money or a sponsor, looking for a miracle and when he/she is refused visa, it must be the devil’s handiwork.

Religion in Nigerian & corruption
Nigeria is one of the most religious country in the world and even the president, attributes all his failures or successes to the devil or God, whichever suits him. There are thousands of churches everywhere in Lagos, with many homes and spaces converted into some form of church or the other. Sometimes in Lagos, it feels like planning laws don’t exist with the number of church springing up. Residential areas are been bombarded and over run with churches of all sizes and their loud microphones. Even a church with a congregation of 10, must have a microphone!

Sundays and Wednesdays, not to talk of Fridays are filled with congregations, looking for miracles, deliverance etc. Most of them are not in church just to worship God, without wanting something. Yet, the same congregation go back to work on Monday and collect bribes, give bribes and contribute to the corrupt that has now been woven into the fabric of our society. Young married men are all trooping to church on Sundays and on Saturdays; they are with their girlfriends committing adultery. Married woman are doing the same. Young girls are selling their bodies and yet, they are not been told the truth in church. The churches have failed in their responsibility to imbibe morals and uphold the morals of the society and yet, no one can criticise them, if you do, you are called the child of the devil and God will cast you out of his kingdom. You are compared to Saul in the bible. These people forget that the same Jesus went into the temple and rose against all the atrocities of the religious leaders, telling them that the temple has been turned into something else.
The sermons in churches are all about making money, becoming successful, miracles and of course, paying tithes and building funds. The pastors have become rich; they now wear designer suits, travel 1st class, and produce/write hundreds of books in a short space of time and shockingly, now own planes. Where is the modesty of Jesus Christ? Where is wanting to live like Jesus lived, where is the “practice what you preach”?? Church leaders are endorsing thieving government personnel and attending their birthday parties and all the rubbish opening of one centre or the other. I am a Christian and I cringe every time I see Pastor Enoch Adeboye (Redeem church) and other Christian leader attend events or functions of controversial leaders. Our Christian leaders fail to understand how influential their positions are, and what profound impact they can make, if only they choose who they associate with and maybe use their power and influence to send the right messages, instead of associating with these known corrupt leaders and as a result saying to their large congregation that it is ok to be corrupt, it is ok to associate with thieves. I watched Ebenezer Obey (musician turned pastor) attend some Oba’s birthday party, dancing with 3 or 4 of his wives. How can a pastor endorse or deem to endorse polygamy, something that is completely against the doctrine of God. Chris Okotie divorced his wife and now wants to marry another, from the same church! What is wrong with Nigerians? When are we going to stand up to the “Sodom and Gomorra” mentality in our churches? Pastors running over 10,000 congregation churches are also running businesses by the side. Is there anyone that will stand up with me on these issues?

The UK is currently debating taking out religion from the state- One school of thought says that in a multi-cultural society, religion(church) has no part to play in the society. Look at the moral decay of our youths and the raise in teenage pregnancy, divorce, paedophilic activities etc. Religion provides a moral presence in our society that has always been relevant and will continue to be relevant in today’s and future society. However, if religion will continue to have a place in the state, we as citizens must continue to hold all religious leaders and the faiths accountable for whatever they do. If as a Christian in the UK, I will not keep quite, why should I in Nigeria?

334th richest man in the world

2008-03-06T05:03:00.000-08:00

Aliko Dangote made it…

Forbes list

I put on a post on this guy recently, with some incorrect information, Busola kindly help set the record straight

p.s; I have not check Busola’s information yet, put lets assume she is right.

Update...

2008-03-06T04:06:00.000-08:00

Hep peeps,

Thank you to others that have been dropping by, I am not still alive and kicking. It is just BT messing up.

Life has been really busy, I don’t have a landline or internet access at home right now and it is making blogging almost impossible. I have a long week course next week that I am preparing for and I am also job hunting. Yes oh! my 2years affair with the Telco industry is finally over. I am frantically sending out my CV and getting some good responses, but no interviews yet. I am not sure which direction to take. I am looking at permanent positions or continue to contract. I think I have still got 1yr of contract left in me… make some serious money and just go back on the career ladder as a permanent employee. I am looking to do my MBA in 4yrs and I don’t have any intention to cough up the money, which I can get all paid for if I was in a permanent position. What do you guys think? Permanent or contract?

Life has been very busy. Valentine was swell. Hussies gave me a very very expensive bag and trust your girl, and I have been carrying the bag for over 3weeks now. desperately trying to match it with very thing I wear. We ended up in a Turkish restaurant for dinner, which was cool!

Anniversary was also very good. We went to a Mexican restaurant and exchanged cards, rather, I got him a card!

Hussy became a godfather… his good friend had a beautiful baby, hence he is a godfather. He was excited about the whole thing, even though he used to say he did not understand why I am always shopping for my own godson.

It is my birthday on Saturday, so the party continues… I am getting so close to the big 30 it is scary.

I heard Yaradua wants to fire some ministers, in time for his 1st year anniversary in office. I say it is about time. All these feasibility studies he has spent the last year doing is not doing him and his sleeping government all favours. Did he not set up committees to develop policies, when he was campaigning for elections? Infact, how did he get in? based on what policies or agendas? How come he is just doing everything when he got into government? I don’t understand these crops of politicians in Nigeria right now. You need to have at least your 1st year’s plan set in stone, before the election itself. You only have a 4yr mandate and nobody is going to pat you on the back if you spend your 4years mandate on developing policies and nothing on implementation. I rest my case.

I heard Babatunde Fashola is doing wonders in Lagos state. Apart from all the media communications about “future Lagos” are the area boys and street hawkers still on the roads?... There are so many “quick wins” and I am always surprise that Nigerian politicians fail to see. There focus is always on the ambitious plans that end up in the mud of corruption.

If I was fashola for a week, what would I do? I will clear all the area boys and the street, ban buses from stopping at non designated bus stops, clear Street hawking, and create more markets and bus stops. The difference it will make to Lagos will be enormous, very significant and a very quick win!

Long term plans will be start working on a Lagos state metropolitan police force. Start lobbying the legislative authorities. Nigerian police force is too central to serve individual states. We need a police force that is connected to the people and the state government.

What would you do if you were Fashola for a week?

Valentine & Australia

2008-02-13T04:08:00.000-08:00

happy valentine to you all

I don’t think I am a hopeless romantic person, but I just love people making the effort. I get really disappointed when people don’t, especially those close to me. Tomorrow is valentine, so I am keeping my fingers crossed, with what hubby has in store. I doubt if he has anything planned, apart from frantically trying to find a restaurant today. We don’t have Internet at our new place yet, so I am sure he will be asking his colleagues at work or looking through the Internet. Last year, we had a candle night dinner at home, yes oh; he did the whole thing, steak, veg and potatoes, even made gravy. I was too impressed, with dimmed lights and candles on the table. The only thing he forgot to do was to iron the table cloth. Apart from that, it was a good evening. I am always doing crazy things for his birthday, or rather fun and memorable things. Last year, I took him to a jazz club, with old jams such as “dance to buggy, dance to buggy”. I swear, I have never heard most of the songs before, but he had a swear time. On his birthday this year, I am taking him on holiday, somewhere exotic, I have decided Egypt. I just need to work out how to get him to book his holiday and yes, sort out the visas.

I bought his cards last night, at one of those trendy, quirky-look stores. The words went alot to me. One of the cards said something about us been through alot together, but I am convinced we are blessed and made for each other. I know we have only been married for one year, but men, it feels like 5years, with all the dramas we have had to deal with in the last one year.

Enough of valentine,

Yesterday, Australian prime minister apologised to the native Australians- the aboriginals for “the laws and policies that inflicted profound grief, suffering and loss” he mentioned the “stolen generation” of thousands of children that were forcefully taken from their parents, in a drive to inter breed them with the white population, civilise the aboriginals and wipe out their race and colour. This atrocity started in the 19th century and continued up to the 1960s. There was an aborigine on BBC this morning and she spoke of how four of her mother’s children were taken from her and given to white families. Her poor mother did not end up seeing 2 of the children ever again. What was her sin? She had a darker skin, she was not civilised enough and the children were off with white families!

It very much brings to mind, the 100th year of the abolition of salve trade last year and Tony Blair, still refusing to apologise for the Britain’s involvement in slave trade. All the blacks ever wanted were the “I am sorry, our forefathers did something that was wrong and we recognise it. Who says that Africa does not still suffer from the effect of slave trade? Who says that the black race has not continued to suffer for the atrocities of the white slave masters, many years ago? It is time for the rest of the world, to stand up and apologise for the salve trade. Of course, their refusal to do so is because of the monetary compensation that will need to be paid. I say it is long over due and it must be paid. It is only a matter of time, but the price must be paid.

Dangote and other… a share of Chevron Nigeria

2008-02-12T08:12:00.000-08:00

There is unconfirmed news that Chevron oil, operating in the down stream oil sector of Nigeria wants to off-load 60% stake of its company and have been meeting with Oando, Dangote, banks and others. This has come as no surprise at all, especially with all the disruptions in the Niger Delta. The west is beginning to realise that power and wealth must now be handed over to its owners, or maybe it is just a strategy, get Nigerians to deal with their own problems and just come back 10years down the line and offer the share holders some crazy money to buy them out. In the meantime, the issues with the local communities have been resolved. Or maybe, the issues in the Niger Delta is not doing their “global corporate responsibility” any favours and they will rather save the face of their company, shareholders and customers, of which very little is Africa anyway. Of course, one would have to question how these “Nigerian Investors” are acquiring the wealth to buy such investment. Do we question Zenith and the rest of the banks, who keep diluting their shares and going to the market to raise funds and using it to finance massive investments, which in the long run only benefit the 10% of the population… mega rich boys, “government contractors” etc… there is very little that gets to small businesses and drive the middle class? Or it is Dangote, who completely dominated sugar, salt and flour import for many years and when he had enough money, set up his own manufacturing companies in Nigeria, of which is his the only major player.

I question the many government policies and strategies that tend to drive the “rich getting rich agenda”, instead of reducing the gap between the rich and the poor. The social economic issues that will arise from the syndrome of the ever increasing divide between the rich and the poor will be the legacy of this generation. In 100 years from now, our children’s children will be dealing with the divide. The government seem to be driving a very elitist society, with poor policing, education, housing, roads, etc; but increasing driving “mega private investment”, which only “foreigners” or “mega rich Nigerian” are the only participants. Both come hand in hand, but I doubt if anyone is noticing. I said it now and many will say it later

“The future is bright, the future is palava”

Ibori and Lucky are on bail, anyone surprise? Maybe not, naija for show if you ask me, let the madness roll on.

APP party don’t want the immunity of government personnels removed ‘cos of lawsuits from people. If non-government personnels can not be prosecuted what chance is there for serving government personnels to be prosecuted? What happened to the Ministers involved in the Ericsson saga? Wey Fela Anikulapo kuti, make he talk some sense, make person hear jare or Is it Idris “Everything for naija na jaga jaga”

I will be updating on the feminist conference shortly.

Found a place...

2008-02-07T02:11:00.000-08:00

Thank you all for the support, we finally did it yesterday, we have paid for a place. It is a really nice, never been lived in flat, someone in North West London. One of those "luxury apartments". It is so shinny new, I am so happy. We viewed the place late last night, so I am not 100% sure about the area, but the building is secure and very quiet, so I believe it will do for now. The rent is "crazy"... that is the only way to describe it and when I heard the sale price, I was so surprise, 'cos the rent would not even cover it. Anyway, it was made us more determined to buy our own family house ASAP!!!

Things are really changing, I feel like this is the first major decision hubby & I have made, as a married couple. We were dating when he bought his present house, and we viewed it together, but I did not really feel I needed to make an input in the buying decision. I was just his "viewing escort". This weekend is going to be really busy, 'cos the plan is to move all day Saturday. I wanted to go and see AFRIKA AFRIKA with one of my friends, but that will have to wait till... not sure, maybe next weekend.

I have been scrolling through the blogging world and there are a lot of political debates going on and I am itching to give my own 2 kobo, but personal life is getting in the way right now. I will be back soon.

Back to London... I say it is about time

2008-02-06T01:49:00.000-08:00

ppls, the last week has been really busy. Hussy & I are finally leaving sunny, boring grays, Essex, and swapping it for lovely jazzy North West London. yes ppl, our love affair with Grays is over. I am so pleased. We are crazily viewing properties, for rent, until we find a family home to buy by the summer.

This move has been long coming and we finally find a suitable tenant for our place in grays last week. The plan is to move to a flat in London, for a few months, until we find a suitable house to buy. I have been viewing some flats in London in the last week, and it has not only been expensive, but very tiny boxed places. It is really going to be a shock moving from a 3 bed, big kitchen/dinner area to a small poxy flat somewhere. But the move is necessary, I want to be close to the "good life", the good schools for our unborn children, the museums, theatres and a good social life. Grays/Chafford hundred, is like a stepford wives territory for the “young upcoming Nigerians" and I really struggle with the 4hours commute to work, in the last 2 years and being too far from anything interesting or fun. I love the underground, the westend and the easy access to all my friends. I love the cafes after church for breakfast, the quick and cheap Italian restaurant after work with hubby and the theatre at the weekend.

We have to be out of our house by this weekend and we have not even started packing yet! I am really keeping my fingers crossed to find a suitable 2 bedroom flat, in a relatively good condition for rent TODAY! yes oh, we need the keys by Saturday. Wish me luck and maybe my next post will be from my lovely London apartment.

Au revoir!

It has been so long...

2008-02-01T22:39:00.000-08:00

Chei, I really miss blogging, but the last 2weeks has been crazy! I had two major projects going live last week and I have been working my butts off! I also had French lessons, which I have missed one class already. I don’t feel good about this at all, but wetin person fit do?
I had a number of things to blog about, mainly random stuff.

I went for a 2days off site event, you know the type that they put a bunch of you in a room, with endless presentations of the team’s target and deliverables for the year, then you go off to do some team events, ours was to build a formula one car and get it to actually move; ok my team lost ! The venue was lovely, Leamington Spa, somewhere in the midlands. It was fabulous. I heard it is a place for the rich and famous and you have alot of boarding schools and independent schools here. I can imagine dropping my child there on a Monday and picking him/her up on a Friday. God, I love good education and it is something I can never put a price on. If I have the money, I will always go for it.

I am off to naija in about 6weeks, I want o attend this nysc and I am really looking forward to it. I have been shopping as usual, for summery clothes, GAP is my favourite shop right now. They sell such beautiful, light casual cotton tops. I still go to ZARA fro my silk tops and bottoms. TOPSOP is still delivering my jeans, even though I am thinking of switching to a good designer label for my jeans. I have serious problems with jeans. I have very long legs, 34inches and most shops just don’t do this length, unless of course I go for Iceberg, which cost about £100. I have one Iceberg jeans, which I got for a bargain of £20, but shop I got them from has now closed down. I tend to buy about 3-4 jeans at a go, and wear them for a whole year, so I guess I can afford to switch to designers if they can offer me the length, style and fit. I am still thinking about it oh! Imagine what £400 will pay for in naija?, I can be ijebu like that. My bags are no problems, I just go for real leather bags, which I buy on the Internet and they are always fab!. I am not a big fan of designers, ‘cos they are too over prized. Shoes are very high street; I just buy any nice shoes I find. I don’t care where they come from, as long as they are leather and fit well.
Life is funny oh! I spent a day with my childhood friend, who has 2 kids and, I was exhausted! She is a real woman oh married for 3 years now with children. I was surprise at the amount of work it took to bring up two children, being with them all day was very exhausting and definitely not my cup of tea. She complained about how hard it was to put them into a routine and I completely disagree. I will never allow it(motherhood) to rule my life and I will definately put everyone in a routine, from feeding times to sleeping times. If not, I will go mad! A stay at home mum is a very hard thing to do and I respect all the women out there that do it. We went to Claire to pierce the little girl’s ears and the poor thing screamed when the ear rings went it. She had tears in her eyes, it was so sweet, I nearly cried myself. She slept off straight after that!... godbless her.

I am back from lala land right now. Looking ahead to a new month. I have my driving test this month, French lessons continues, oh yes, it is valentine this month and my 1st wedding anniversary. I am not really sure what to do about this anniversary thing. Me, I like big romantic gestures and my hussy is not very tuned in this direction, when God was dishing it out, he was away and he has just never been able to catch the romantic bug, even with all the infections I have been spreading around the house. I don’t mind doing nothing on the day itself, but I would like to go away, in the summer, maybe get some tickets to Brazil or Egypt. He struggles to do romantic, but he loves it was when I do it. He loves the surprise and attention! Should I tell him I have a blog so that he can read about what I want? Also, I lost my engagement ring last summer, so a new one will be nice, not too expensive, I just want a another one. I am tired of restaurants and meals, I want something memorable. I told him I gave him till 31st of Jan and if he does not come up with anything, then it will be left to me to do something about it. I really want to go to Brazil in the summer! Can someone please tell him?

I still dey read...

2008-01-24T06:17:00.000-08:00

I hope you are all having a good week so far. I have been busy with my French lessons, going off to central London twice a week. I am also proud to say I have completed Nelson Mandela’s autobiography… Long Walk to Freedom.

I am starting on a book that is looking to explain the origins of the Afenifere and the history of the Yoruba land ruling class. The book is by Olawale Oshun – The kiss of death.

I have just started this morning and already had someone on the train ask me about it. It covers the time of Awolowo, through to the death of Bola Ige and how Afenifere has evolved since then. Wish me luck.
It is quite a painful read for me, but it one worth reading. I am currently at this stage of my life, where I am drawn to the politics of Nigeria, the Yoruba ruling class and trying to find some meaning to the present political and social degradation in Nigeria.

p.s: I friend of mine is in Abuja for the 1st ever Nigeria feminist conference. What is feminism? Are feminists just men hating, bra burning “western women”? Is there a place for feminism in the African culture?

How do I get my ex back?

2008-01-22T01:46:00.000-08:00

I need help fast! A friend of mine wants his ex-girlfriend back, after many years. She is not having it and she is very SINGLE. How does he beg her?

Buy flowers, chocolates, call, etc. I need ideas. He wants to woo her like he has never done before and he is wants her back for the long term.

Martin Luther King jr…

2008-01-21T03:19:00.000-08:00

If a great man ever lived in America, it was Martin Luther king Jr. If a black man ever lived his life, leaving behind his foot prints in the history books, then it was this man. Every 3rd Monday in January, Americans celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. day to celebrate his birth, life and what he stood for. The end to segregation and equality for African Americans.
Here is a reminder of what he stood for and my thoughts on how his quotes though 40years since his death, speaks volume of Nigeria’s present situation.

“The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically... Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.”
- There is still a significant number of Nigerians with no access to free and good primary and secondary education. Primary schools are filled with teachers, poorly paid with no access to good teaching materials and the universities, lecturers are more concerned about failing students and selling hand-outs. The true meaning of education is lost in all of this decay.

“The time is always right to do what is right”.
- It is time for the political leaders of Nigeria to do the right thing. History will do a man no favours, if he fails to do the right thing in the present.

“I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live”.
- When are Nigerians going to stand up against the incompetence of its leaders, the corrupt and effective civil institutions and liberate itself from the shackles of poverty?

“We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools”.
- War, killings and division is not the answer to the Nigeria’s problem, a sovereign national conference is needed to acknowledge our challenges and agree the way forward.

“Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed”.
- We can not wait for an ineffective minority ruling class to set us free, we must collectively, speaking with one voice demand that enough is enough. Only then will freedom come. 90% of Nigerian’s income comes from the Niger Delta, and yet a region that only contributes 6% to the GDP gets the lion share. The North only contributes 6% to our GDP, yet, by land mass and population, they account for 55% of our population.
-
“The church was not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was a thermostat that transformed the mores of society”.
- Unfortunately, the churches in Nigeria, in itself a corrupt establishments, with the sole aim of condoning the activities of our corrupt leaders and taking from the poor masses, their widow’s mite.

“Life's most urgent question is: What are you doing for others?
- A lot of Nigerians are more concerned about what others can do for them, than what they can do for themselves, neighbours and less fortunate ones.

p.s: I don’t mean to be a doomsayer and always blogging about what is not working in Nigeria but I find that a lot of us are too content with short term improves. My cry is for a strategic change, in all the ramifications of governance in Nigeria, with long lasting benefits that will out live the present generation.
.

Motherless and abandoned children in Nigeria

2008-01-18T07:41:00.000-08:00

Dear all,

We can all do our bit for the motherless and abandoned children of Nigeria and Africa. Please look at this video presentation of donations, made possible by some wonderful ladies in London; to the Alakara Juvenile Center, lagos Nigeria. Funmi Iyanda champions this course in the blogsville and I am grateful to her and her team, for ensuring that the donations reached the center in good time for Christmas.

This video is so moving, I can not believe how such a small gesture like this, could create so much happiness. I want to say a big thank you to all the ladies that helped make this happen

I am collecting donations for the Easter package; please let me know if you are interested in being part of this simple, yet wonderful gesture. Books, children’s clothes, toys etc are all appreciated. I will be happy to collect anywhere in London.

Have a good weekend and think about helping a child in Nigeria.

Signing out - Aspiring Nigerian woman

Naija for show...Obasanjo divorce & Others

2008-01-17T05:00:00.000-08:00

Sorry I have been on AWOL, I am usually dedicated to this blog. I have been immersing myself in Nelson Mandela’s book and realising how “ordinary my life is”,

A number of things in the Nigeria media right now.

Gbenga Obasanjo’s bitter divorce with Moji –
Talk about washing dirty laundry in public. They are both equally mad and insane. I hope they will ever forgive themselves for all the damage and hurt they have cause their children and would do in the future. Shame on them!

It reminds of my parent’s divorce or separation, whatever you call it, ‘cos they are still not legally divorced. All the disclaimers and petitions they wrote against each other, in the end it killed both their accounting practices. My mum quickly recovered, but I think my dad is still in the mess after 17 years. Went off to marry another woman, thinking the grass was greener on the other side.
Divorce is a bitter pill to swallow by any child and the effect of it, runs from one generation to the other.

Nigerian… going nuclear
If nuclear plants are the solution to Nigeria’s energy problem, then I think we should go ahead. There are a lot of issues on safety and the decommissioning, but putting it in the hands of reputable private companies, with strict legal framework and policies that mirror what we have in the UK and France might make it work. I don’t care what the international community’s view is on this ‘cos if we need electricity to develop and nuclear energy is the way to go, so be it.

Shell Nigeria… downsizing
Shell is down sizing because of the loss of revenue from the problem in the Niger Delta. It is a shame that the world is only just beginning to listen to the people of Niger Delta, after they went militant. Shell, the biggest oil company in Nigeria, for over 66years closed its eyes and ears to the social, environmental and economic deprivation of the Oil region and its people. They are now scaling done their operations. Let them leave; there are other oil companies that will be happy to take over and work responsibly. It is no longer business as usual and you will have to pay for your past actions. Today will pay for yesterday… if you don’t pay your dues in season

Long Walk to Freedom... Nelson Mandela

2008-01-11T03:10:00.000-08:00

Another great book, by a fantastic strong, black African son of the soil. I am only in the second chapter, but all I think about it that

“The struggle of a thousand miles starts with one step”

“A great man is made, but born”

“The road to greatest begins with a seed, sown by what you hear, read, believe or even stumble upon.”

I am content in knowing that we share the same heritage, history, skin colour and belong to a fantastic continent… Africa, the great continent!

Enjoy your weekend all! Chris Rock is in town this month and I am planning to get some tickets! Next week is going to be fabulous (I love this word, has been ghettoised though), I am seeing a friend coming in from out of town and we will be painting westend red!

Signing out - Aspiring nigerian woman

What went wrong with Nigeria...by Patrick Wilmot

2008-01-10T06:11:00.000-08:00

I have been reading this very powerful book, by Patrick Wilmot(can't find him on wikipedia), called INTERVENSIONS VI – Nigeria the nightmare scenario. I would advise any patriotic Nigerian to read this book. It is just a powerful insight to what went wrong with Nigeria and more importantly, what today’s intellectuals, include all Nigerian bloggers can do, going forward.

I simply cannot review this book. I will do it no justice. I lack the expertise, experience or even audacity to attempt to review it. I will simply make a mockery of it. However, I will humbly attempt to proudly, write down some extracts from the book.

Nigeria has been a failure. Nothing works – from health, education, housing, manufactures, telephones, roads, and the historic record is almost blank. In a thousand years scholars could look back and sigh “there is no sign here that wise men once rules”

Like the Japanese, the Chinese think of themselves as a group, a people, a collective capable of concentrating a national consciousness. The Russians, forced into collective action by Lenin and Stalin, have now followed the Americans into individualism and consumerism. Nigerians, associated into the tight knit communities in the past, now purse an extreme of individualism that is selfish and anarchic. Like the Russians the Nigerians have degenerated into corruption and criminality.

The future would have no pity for those men who, processing the exceptional privilege of being able to speak words of truth to their oppressors, have taken refuge in an attitude of passivity, of mute indifference, and sometimes of cold complicity.

Civil society, the opposition, press, judiciary are modern mechanisms for ensuring that leaders govern in the interests of the people rather themselves and their family. These were won in Europe and America through popular struggles, sometimes with inhuman sacrifices. They were not gifts of the leaders, and everyone who longs for freedom must be prepared to sacrifice.

p.s: All credits and copywrite to Patrick Wilmot, none of these are mine.

Being black and proud... what we stand for

2008-01-09T07:46:00.000-08:00

I have been holding off blogging on this, until today, ‘cos I wanted to see what will happen at the New Hampshire today. My husband and I woke up at the early hours of this morning, to hear the results and Hilary Clinton won the New Hampshire, by 3%, against Obama

Yes people, it is all about Obama, our own 1st generation African American. He is mixed race, with a Kenyan father and an American white mother, which still makes him a black man (I wonder why). I am so excited that he has come this far and the fact that he represents what myself and every other 1st generation African American/British, living in the US/UK or any part of the West aspires for.

Obama represents all the goodness of being African is all about. He represents to me, what I can become, in the midst of all the racial discrimination and prejudice. He represents the good forces of being black in this part of the world, outside for rap music, black on black youth killings in the UK, racial riots in France, discrimination in Holland, prejudice in Norway etc. He represents the “can do attitude” and “never say die” attitude of Africans and Black people.

Weather he wins the democratic nomination, to run for the US presidency or not, he is a winner in my own eyes. He is why I am happy to be black and proud.

I saw him with his proud black wife and beautiful two daughters and all I could think about is shame to all the Nigerian men that keep having marital affairs, shame to them that think their woman is not good enough, pretty enough. Shame to them that are not happy with “female children”, shame to them that feel incomplete without a son.

Shame to the governors, political leaders, presidents (past and present), public office holders that keep stealing money and laundering our resources.

I am proud of Obama, he is a president in my own eyes!

My driving lessons
I have been driving lessons for 2-3 years now, and boy, I am not passing this test oh! Anyway, I recently changed my instructor and his guy is pretty good and always nagging me about what I am doing wrong… bless him. A few lessons ago, we got into this discussions about black people being bad drivers and pedestrians. He calls blacks “coloured”. I never thought I would ever meet anyone refer to blacks as coloured. Don’t get me wrong the guy is not racist; he is just ignorant…which is not an excuse, but I just find him very intriguing and I knew aggression was not the way to change his thinking. I had to understand where he was coming from and find a way to educate him. Also, for my own education, I wanted to understand his thinking.

Back to my story, the conversation with him, started a few weeks ago and I have been bidding my time, until this afternoon’s lesson; when I started showing examples of bad non- black drivers and why generalising was wrong, ‘cos you end up boxing people up. I told him to stop saying “coloured” ‘cos it was derogatory (I think). I also told him that the area we were driving was a relatively poor area, low incomers and thus will be the case for the black and white living there. I told him that I found people in this area rude, especially the “whites”, but I would be incorrect to say all “whites” are rude. Anyway, he kept saying “this is what I see”, “this is my own experience “then I told him that just ‘cos it was his own experience did not mean his conclusions were right. More than anything else, he is responsible for what he says and he should be mindful of the effect or actions of what he says. Anyway, the guy is an instructor, little or no education and his perception of blacks is what the systems, media and his environment tells him.

I have lessons with him tomorrow, so I am going to tell him about Barrack Obama! I also want to show him that I am a black and proud woman and I stand for all that is good about being Black. I plan to pass my test and drive safely.

My world

2008-01-08T01:20:00.000-08:00

My world is not round, it is not flat, and it does not fit any scientific reasoning or religious belief. Everything that happens in my world; all my decisions and actions move in a circle. The decisions and actions I make today, I reap tomorrow. Nothing happens in isolation.

My world is built around my understanding of situations at any point in time
It is shaped by my belief and my experiences

I don’t believe in destiny, I don’t believe in fate, I believe that I am the architect and builder of my own world, all I ask and seek I will get, but in due season

My worlds exist in the confines of a superior being, far greater than I can ever imagine and his hands are always wide open, with all I seek and desire. He allows me to build my world.

- Aspiring nigerian woman

Letter from my emotion: my body, by soul, my spirit man

2008-01-07T01:51:00.000-08:00

I received this email yesterday and I did not know what to do with it, it was not asking for comfort, response or even an acknowledgement. All I could think about was posting it this morning.

I am dealing with a lot of s*** right now. I am really struggling with my emotions and it is just so hard not to think or doing anything else.

I wrote down the worse of my emotions last night and my boyfriend, my lover, my husband – Augustus saw it. I guess it really scarred him and I can imagine him thinking “what thing did I end up with” what kind of person is this that thinks and writes such a thing”. Well, this is rage, rage rage, rage I feel so much rage towards *my situation* right now, it is hard for anyone to imagine how I feel. Not even Augustus. He does not know how to respond to anyone’s emotions, including mine and anything is unfamiliar with; he refused to understand or comprehend it. It repels him and he thinks that he can forcefully eject out from me.

I really struggle when he behaves like this. I don’t get an emotional support from him at all and sometimes, it is really hard for me. Emotions for me are the rawness of my soul and spirit, the tiny speaking voices, with cords that attempt to tear my soul apart and suffocate my spirit. I get torn from my spirit man, I seek to understand or see the invincible hand of God, to understand why this has happened. I am lost in my own battle to secure my soul and spirit, from the destruction of this rage. I used to lash out, and let it consume me, take me to a dark alley of self- pity, rejection and sorrow; but now , I simply write about it, furiously typing away at my laptop, pouring out the darkest innermost things from the tiny voices taking temporary refugee in my soul and spirit.

In this situation, I look at people around me in a different light, I see all the fault of those closest to me, including my boyfriend, my lover my husband- Augustus and I struggle to love, love like I know it. I looked at him yesterday, talking and speaking to me about his day and there I was emotional drained and torn with the state of my soul and spirit. I kept thinking of what he could do to help me, a kiss, a cuddle, someone to talk to, pour out my spirit and soul to, but I know that he can never handle it. I sit in his heart, an image of what he expects and wants. He does all he can to fit me into his mould, by talking, forcing or breaking me., Most times, I decided to change, ‘cos I love him too much to do otherwise. My love for him is at a depth and length that I can not imagine not being with him. In the process I settle for what I get from him… sometimes, emotional, I don’t think my soul and spirit is married to his. In my state of rage, I see his faults and shortcomings and resign to what I can never get. I am a very content person, I am happy with whatever I get and where I am, ‘cos I believe I put in a lot and most times my best into whatever I do, and as they say “you can only do your best” I went into the bathroom yesterday after the confrontation and I cried and cried, I cried in the shower, until my eyes were blood red and my head was pounding. I wished the one I loved followed me upstairs, stood at the door and tried to take away this pain or even attempt share it with me.

My heart is broken, my soul is torn and the spirit man is lost, for what they have become. I wish there was someone that understood. I wish there was someone I can talk to about this, someone that can share my pain and hold my hands as I got through this dark, long and lonely tunnel. I though that was what my boyfriend, my lover and husband was for, but he does not understand, he can not handle this, this is alien and foreign to him, but this is not his image of me. My battle is from both sides. I am not sure which pain is greater.

Naija men 101... finding mr.right in London

2008-01-03T03:05:00.000-08:00

A lot of my female friends are at the point that they are talking about getting married and looking for “Mr Right” most of them are falling in and out of relationships and sometimes, they turn to me for my take on things. In the past, I am quick to condemn them and forceful make them to see reasons, but I have been burned so many times and now I just keep my mouth shut and simply listen to their views and sometimes, watch them dig themselves into a hole. But guess what guys, this is my blog, my voice and I will say things as I see them.

I don’t care what a woman says, no naija guy wants to be asked out, they enjoy the chase and it is your place to play hard to get, naija men will not keep anything that comes easy.

Never ever, assume you are dating a naija man, until he actually says so. I have known naija men that said “Did I ask her out”?

Everyman wants to have sex with you, no matter what religion they belong to. If you don’t want to have sex, it is ok, but please don’t throw it at their faces, even before they ask you out.

Keep your past sexual escapades to yourself. Naija man will run if he thinks you know a thing or two.

Please leave all your spiritual talks behind, demons, witches, snakes, cats etc. These things scare the hell out of naija men. You will only drive them away.

Be careful how you get too spiritual. They like women that are prayerful, but not those that keep binding and bounding the devil each time they see a bat, dog or cat.

I know you have money, you are a contractor with a good income, but please naija men don’t like wasteful girls. Those that boast about their £350 Gucci bags, £150 tee shirt and £600 LV bags. You look stupid when you spend £700 on a bag and you live a rented flat in Newham! Keep it real at all times.

Keep away from his family; don’t be too eager to speak to the siblings, visit the mother or aunty that came into town. You are not a wife, until they put a ring on your finger.

You can never force a naija man to propose to you. Forget it, even if he talks about it, I want to marry you is not the same as buying a ring, proposing, calling his family and friends to announce the engaged… all in this order. Engagements can be broken.

Leave your man’s friends alone. Even if you knew them before, be very careful. Their loyalty always lies with your man not you. Just love them but don’t get too close.

Easy with cooking, washing and cleaning for a man, before you marry him, remember, men tend to think “if it too good to be true, then it is not”.

Keep your mouth shut; don’t yap too much about the dramas of your female friends. I know someone that did not date a girl ‘cos she kept complaining about her girlfriends and falling out with them.

Don’t take you man to family dinners or invite him to speak to your parents on the phone, unless he actually asked you.

You must be ready to compromise and change, if required, ‘cos you are not as perfect as you think and naija men don’t compromise or change.

Naija men have issues with naija girls that have dated “white guys”… don’t ask me why, but that is how it goes.

Don’t yap too much about your ex- especially if the exs with children, exs that are 15-10years older than you. Naija men just simply can not handle it.

Naija men like strong women, must be able to hold down a job, have ambition and drive.

Be careful of naija men that will marry you for your career, family name or father’s money.

If everything fails and the relationships still don’t work, please don’t beg him oh! Let him go and keep away from him and his FRIENDS.

Bhutto gone... and son steps in

2008-01-02T06:39:00.000-08:00

Hi all,

Happy New Year and happy new beginnings to you all. I hope this year brings all the things you every wish for.

Alot happened in the last days of 2007.

Bhutto gone… and sons in
Bhutto assassinated, very shocking. I don’t understand the barbaric nature of the so called suicide bombers, hajj fighters and anyone else that kills, not in self-defence, just to get a point across. These people are killers, with absolutely no human soul. They say they kill in the name of god? Where is the God that can not fight its own battles? Where is the God that can not stand up for itself? Is he not the giver or life, how can we, mere mortals, take other people’s lives? I am completely disgusted with the ideology behind these senseless killings.

Why has her 19year old, 1st undergraduate student son being appointed the party’s leaders? PPP is the most popular party in Pakistan. Is there no one, outside the Bhutto family that can take over the management of the party? When have political parties leadership become a family business and in heritance? Honour and respect to the Bhutto family and what they stand for, but I need some answers from the people of Pakistan. One of the good signs of a good leader is the ability to groom and create potential leaders, to carry the touch when you step down. Is this is politicraze? Pakistani people, please enlighten me

kenya... 150 people dead
Another politicraze in kenya. 150 people killed in ethnic cleansing, 'cos of disputed presidential election. Existign president Kabiya was sworn in for another term, admist cry of election rigging and irregularities by other parties and international community. Na only Africa this kind of thing dey happen. Imagine, the president was beign sworn in, at the same time that the streets were fillign wiht dead bodies. women and children burnt alive in a church where they were hiding. Black people, when are you going to love yourselves?

Black on black teenage killings in London
I don’t care what anyone says, especially the black community. This is going on for far too long. This is definitely a black problem, with our young black boys killing themselves. Another teenage was killed in London a few days ago, stabbed to death, by other young boys, all under the age of 18years. When is the black community going to wake up to this problem and sort it out? Where are the black parents? When are we going to stop buring our own, killed by us?

Ribadu on forced one year study leave

Another sad day for Nigeria. Ribadu has now been sent on compulsory, 1yr study leave. He is unlikely to return as the chairman of EFCC - the corruption police force. Naija politicians’ dey craze. Ori gbogbo government ti daru, Is Yaradua sleeping (God, did Nigerian actually vote for this man? ) Ribadu is one of the very few people that stealing governors and politicians are afreaid of . People say "the beginning of wisdom is the fear of Ribadu", now he is been set off. Surely, Ibori and the 31 ex-governor being investigated have a hand in all of this. I can smell s*** and it really stinks!

Great western trains delayed today again and yet fares were increased. I now pay £2pds more!

On a brighter note, it is another year and I am looking forward to a lot of good things happening; here in the UK and in Nigeria. I am challenging myself, to write a blog entry in French, by the end of January, so people watch up.

ANC... Zuma wins

2007-12-19T06:30:00.000-08:00

My people, yes oh, I have been following this news in the last few days and it was announced yesterday that Zuma is the new ANC party leader. Of course, it is a fascinating story, ‘cos he was the former vice president, under Mbeki and was fired ‘cos of the corruption allegations and a rape charge. He is likely to become the next South African president. I need South Africans to explain to me what he was elected; apart from the fact that he is charismatic and he connects with the heart of the people. I am watching this space and keeping my eyes firmly on South Africa’s democracy, ‘cos it is the beacon of hope for the rest of Africa on governance.

Lets get into the festive mood, I have a lot to me thankful for, as this year comes to an end and I am counting my blessing one by one.

I am thankful…

I am thankful for my marriage, my hubby. It is our 1st year anniversary soon and we are growing stronger and both enjoying our marriage
I am thankful for my hubby, he got himself a wonderful job and I believe that God is moving him to new heights in his career and opening doors for him.
I am thankful for my sisters and my mum. Mum is 50 this year; my sister will be adding another beautiful to the family in few months. The other will be graduating in a year.
I am thankful for my health; I had a slight scare, with it turned out to be nothing that an exercise and gym will not take care of.
I am thankful for my friends, I have made new ones, some got married this year, had babies, some got new and exciting jobs and some went back to school.
I am thankful for my friend that died this year, ‘cos I know that he has gone to a better place and left the pains of this world
I am thankful for my job, I love it, and it is opening more opportunities for me to do new things and moving me into bigger things and interests.
I am thankful that I have not been broke this year; no credit cards or loans and I have invested at home and aboard.
I am thankful, that I have given something back into my home country. I am working together with some wonderful people to donate to less privilege children in Nigeria.
I am thankful that I have finally started my business in my home country, made wonderful business contacts, made profit and building on the successes for next year.
I am thankful for my career progressions, the professional exams I passed this year, the ones I have in the pipeline.
I am thankful that a new year is approaching, with many opportunities that have my name on it.

Role model for other people

Last night, I had dinner with one of my best friends; we grew apart about 2 years ago. I had been thinking about our friendship for the last six months and trying to understand what went wrong. Anyway, I sent her an offline message on face book (thanks for facebook oh) and we met up to talk about things. What she said shocked me, she said it all started when I moved in with my boyfriend, now hubby 2 years ago and she was very disappointed, ‘cos I was like a sister to her and a kind of role model(did not use these exact words). She was very shocked, ‘cos of our similar Christian and moral beliefs. After she said this, I was also disappointed in myself, ‘cos I have never really thought of myself as a role model to anyone and what the responsibility are, when seen as one by others. It really got me thinking of things I take for granted… my life and the decisions I make, always believing that it is my own to make and not thinking about the effect it will have on those close to me. So I ask you, what are the responsibilities of a role model, to other?

P.S: I really don’t have this blog so that I can get comments, which will be great as well, but this is an online diary for me, to capture my thoughts and maybe in the process use it to improve my writing skills!

I am loving it! playing with colours today

As predicted

2007-12-18T04:32:00.001-08:00

I was reading through the financial times this morning and the UN secretary general, Ban Ki Moon is saying that the agreement in Bali, by all participants for a roadmap process for “Kyoto 2” brings business opportunities; carbon trading. The financial sector is bussing and carbon traders are smiling and scheming! Of course this will only be realised if a meaningful target for carbon emission is set by countries, a deep cut reduction is being discussed -20-40%, with the developed countries, taking this target reduction.

The biggest challenge is not limiting the carbon change, because the cost is still manageable, but actually cutting the gas emission by 2050 to reach the very ambitious targets discussed, would be equivalent to global growth slowing by 0.1% pr year, through to 2050.

Climate change... we need to all wake up

2007-12-17T07:20:00.000-08:00

Very exciting times. The Kyoto protocol expiries in 2012 and the over 180 countries were gathered in Bali in the last week to trash out some principles for “Kyoto 2”, due to come into force in 2012. The process and the framework to be agreed by 2009.The nations of the world are finally realising that climate change is real, we must redress the way we use our planet, we need to preserve it for future generation, if not there will be nothing left!

A lot of rumbling is going on; the developed countries are refusing to take the lead on this, specifically the US. The new treaty will require all signatories to set specific targets, in terms of greenhouse gas emission, which causes climate change. We need a new international climate change deal and the Bali meeting aims to set this process and negotiations in place.

The US is not very happy about it, there are asking that developing countries to take some stick for this, e.g. China, but how can you have the same target for a developed nation like the US and UK and then impede the growth of China, Africa or the Asia countries? The general gist of the whole thing is that the Kyoto treaty previously signed requires all developed nations to set target to reduce greenhouse emission targets and report on it, but the developing countries are not required to do either, as they need to develop., however, they are required to participate in initiatives to curtail green gas emission.

At lot of pressure on the developed counties to reduce greenhouse emission, of course these comes with a lot of responsibility, less petrol, less industrialisation, less deforestation, less development, more and expensive research into alternative fuels etc.

I am watching the drama unfold... What is Nigeria and Africa’s take on this? Of course, I am thinking about carbon trading scheme, carbon off-setting. Latin America, Asia and China are in the thick of it all.

Yummy... what a man

2007-12-14T05:17:00.000-08:00

Guys,

I don't mean to thick or anything but I saw something absolutely beautiful that caught my eyes this morning, on my way to work. It was absolutely beautiful, yummy and completely drove me to .... ( my hubby must not hear this). It is my one and only african brother: Djimon Hounsou in the latest Calvin klein advert. Shouldn't all men look like this?

Mugabe... what is your legacy?

2007-12-13T08:14:00.001-08:00

Who are my readers?
Thanks to everyone that has visisted my site and I just to say I get really excited when I see the neo counter on the right, with the countries and numbers of visits. It really get me thinking. Are they all nigerians or africans? I would love to hear from you all, for those that drop comments, thanks alot,for those that haven't, let me know how rubbish my blog is.LOL

Mugabe
I really have a problem with african leaders, wanting to hold on to power for so long. What else does Mugabe have to offer after 27 years of being in power ! I just heard that the ruling party have endorsed him, as the next presidential candidate. It is sheer madness! Does this mean that he is the only person in the party and country fit to rule Zimbabwe? His legacy, his freedom fighting and independence for Zimbabwe has all gone to the dogs. The only reason why the west is so concerned and british prime minister brown recently boycotting the EU & African leaders summit is 'cos lands have been taken off the "whites". They west is only concerned when they are affected!. It is really pathetic. A few weeks ago, the same brown was talking about "British jobs for british people". I don't see any reason why" black lands for black people" should not be the same".

Anyway, I am against Mugabe and all power drunk leaders in African holding on to power until they become a nuisance. Mugabe, will not be remembered for his freedom fights, he will be remembered for destroying his country's economy and thus, becoming a laughing stock of not just Africa, but the rest of the world.

When will africans stand up for themselves?... Pharoah let my people go

Re: Will no one speak for Africa...?

2007-12-12T11:11:00.000-08:00

I am carrying my placard today for something that I read on Omodudu's blog and white African on this one computer per child in Africa initiative. Echoing all the comments from these blogs, I am tired of the west and non-Africans at the centre of this debate, deliberating and arguing weather it is best to provide $100 computers to every child or provide food & drink. It is no longer possible for the west to keep categorising Africa as one country! The problems in Nigeria are very different from the problems in South Africa. Sudan and Egypt are different and hence needs a different approach to poverty and many other things. People are asking for African leaders to stand up, speak and debate on this issue, but take Nigeria for example. How is this possible? Most ministers are busy stealing from the public coffers to worry about policy development. Ministers are just figure heads.

I met someone recently, that works for the UN and he said one of the things he struggles to understand is the sheer incompetence and lack of preparation of Nigerian’s present ministers(Yaradua's government) when they attend international meetings. They are more worried about staying in the best hotels in Geneva and where to find $10,000 wrist watches and Louis Vuitton bags for their wives, than they are about making meaningful contributions. With many years of holding several political positions, they still lack any concrete intelligence.

But they are so many young Nigerians and Africans at home and abroad with blogs that the quality of their entries, debates and comments speak for itself. Who will speak for this continent? I will speak for my country- Nigeria. Anyone else will join me?

ICT in Nigeria/Africa - The risks and issues

2007-12-10T12:26:00.000-08:00

I am carrying my placard today, for how Nigeria and the rest of Africa can harness the fantastic use of ICT and the Internet and also address all the “eSafety” issues associated with this technology. The promotion of this fantastic technology, as a driver for the development of Nigeria and Africa, comes with a lot of responsibility and needs to be addressed as part of its promotion.

I read with a lot of admiration, Gbenga Sesan , singing the song of ICT and its vital place in the development of Africa, an emerging continent, rich with milk and honey etc. I am very impressed, infact, I believe he is preaching the right sermon, but I also concerned about the minorities in Africa, especially Nigeria who use the Internet inappropriately, for fraud aka 149, locally known as “yahoo yahoo boys”. 10 years after the wide use of the Internet, with 60-80% of the West European population, connected to the Internet at home, school and work place, the West is beginning to address the “eSafety”, “ safe use of Internet and all related technologies”, “child protection” etc. - they are called different thing.s A minority are using the Internet for inappropriate things e.g. cyberbullying, Identity fraud, credit card frauds, child grooming, child porn etc. These issue has even become more increasingly important in the last 3years, with the promise of Internet on mobiles actually happening. Take for example Vodaphone’s latest slogan “Internet is now mobile”, O2’s iphone and all the latest sophisticated handset with high speed internet access. It is a lot more difficult for children and young people to be supervised and the risks are a lot more difficult to manage by adults, parents and carers.

As Africa is always catching up on all emerging technologies, what is Africa doing about inappropriate use of the Internet? Fortunately, we are not seeing the issues mentioned above, because of cultural difference, but Fraud, 419 and yahoo yahoo” is very prevalent in Africa, especially Nigeria. Unfortunately, these have very serious consequences on our reputation, western perception of doing business in Nigeria and with Nigerians, which is met with very serious caution.This is not doing us any favours. Foreign investment is adversely affected with the mistrust of Nigerians and doing business in Nigeria. Experts say that it is costing Nigeria millions in dollars in foreign investment. I read with a lot of dismay when I open my yahoo inbox, to find a lot of scams from Nigerians, asking for bank accounts for some “ ex-dictator’s loot”. This is just one of many things these fraudsters are dishonestly take money off people; they are also using chatrooms, children adoption, recruitment etc. I was at work one day when one of my colleagues received an email, referring to the CV she posted on monsterjobs, with a potential job offer in Nigeria, asking her to pay £2k to obtain work permit in Nigeria for a £200k a year job. Imagine that. With no job interview. We can no longer sit on the fence and say it is the west’s fault for falling for these scams. How can you not fall for a job offer? a promise of a child up for adoption? Or even a lonely heart in a chatroom looking for a soul mate?

How do we learn from the West, on inappropriate use of the Internet? I recently read, with a lot of joy the massive increase in the number of mobile phone subscribers in Nigeria, about 35M active subscribers but I am also very worried about the emergence of sophisticated handsets that make internet browsing easy on mobiles. If we can not control “yahoo yahoo boys” and 419 in Internet cafes, how do we plan to address accessible Internet on mobile? An average Nigerian living in Nigeria carries at least 3 mobile phones at any point in time.

I am not a doomsayer so I have a few things in mind, to help address these issues. Experience in the West has shown that eSafety is a wholistic approach; it affects everyone and should be taken seriously in a sphere of the society. It starts with the Government. The government needs to commission research looking at how This technology is being used by all and how consumers, children and young people can be protected from the risk of the using the Internet, namely contact (grooming, bullying etc), content (adult content) commerce (advertising, privacy etc.). Policies, regulations and acts needs to be put in place, to ensure that ISP, service providers, Internet and mobile operators can operate within the confines of esafety when developing propositions. Self regulation is also effective, let the operators fund, setup and agree code of conducts on how these risks and issues are addressed. Let them commit to development of tools and resources for the consumers, so that they can protect themselves and their family. Let “eSafety” be central to their entire proposition and an integral part of their services and offers. In the Uk and the rest of Europe, there are plans to integrate eSafety in the school curriculum and lesson plans are being created by NGO, education and corporate bodies for trainee teachers and teachers, to equip them with the necessary skills to educate children in the classrooms. The parents and carers are not left out of this. There is a drive for operators and service providers to effectively communicate to this group the risks and issues associated with using their services and more importantly, how to protect themselves and their families.

P.S: What the heck is wrong with Nigeria and company registration? I am trying to register a consulting company in Nigeria and I have been told I need to have a postgraduate degree, because “consulting is a specialist area”. I was gobsmacked at the rubbishness (Is this a word?) of the whole thing. You can register any company in the UK in 5mins on the frecking Internet, without even any GCSE grades.

To make the 75th anniversary of the BBC, a number of articles are being published on the theme" Freedom of speech" and Wole Soyinka's article of on.

Friday... random nothing

2007-12-07T14:34:00.000-08:00

Hey people,

I am so happy today. I finally took out my hair extension and guess what? I hair has actually gown 3inches! I am so pleased. I can now do "bay parking" I finished my driving lessons today with a big smile on my face. 5yrs of driving lessons and thousands of pounds, I finally worked out how to reserve in a parkign bar, between two cars. Hurry, driving test here I come!

I am heading back to the gym next week. I am fat!

Christmas shopping beckons. I have a number of things to presents to buy this week. A few things for myself, office shirts, pants etc. I need to get presents for my god son and one of our friend’s 2yr old daughter. A few things for hubby too. I hope he likes them; the bobo does not like the idea of me buying his clothes at all. Don’t get me wrong, my bubby is really old fashioned oh! Shop in Zara ke?, you are asking him to look like P. Piddy? Anyway, I am getting him some nice sweaters. I remember the jacket I got him for his birthday. The guy refused to wear it for 3week oh! Too trendy he said, until he tried it one day and one of our very good friends said “ you look 10ys younger”. I laughed when he told me. So, hence, hubby is now wearing the trendy jacket.

Merry Christmas everyone. I will be thinking of Naija, ‘cos I really hate Christmas in this country. Lonely, boring and NOT Nigeria.

I have started reflecting on the next year and I am planning to do some serious professional courses. It is not even the reading that scares me, it is the cost of all these training. I have just booked myself to course in February for £2,000… I know people, it is really crazy. I got the invoice through the post today and sho, it was for £2k. The website said £1,650 but VAT got added and I am stuck!. I am finally starting my French classes next year. I booked myself on the 13 weeks course in January. I am hoping to be able to converse fluently and write basic French at the end of the 13weeks

Another thing is this NYSC. Hubby and I have decided that it is best I go and do this 3 weeks programme in March, ‘cos me I have political ambitions and there are some issues with not doing it, before one is 30.I have another big training next, in the U.S. I will keep you all posted if I get on the training course. It is going to cost £5K. So far, I have counted 8K and there are still a few more things in the pipeline. Wish me luck, but these trainings are all necessary. I must to stand out… twice as good, I am a black woman with an African accent!!!!!!!!

A lot of rubbish nothing going on in naija now. Nothing worth carrying my placard for. I found this blog about an Iragi woman and it is really cool. Really opened my eyes to what is happening in Iraq.

Pictures from Switzerland. Enjoy!

2007-12-06T04:59:00.000-08:00

This is a beautiful picture from our hotel room. Ferries take you straight to France from Lausanne.

I particularly love my boots. Not a flattering picture of my face!

Lausanne. Heading to the IMD graduation. I love my gloves. I have always wanted to get leather gloves and this is my very first one.

Akin is still in my thoughts. I still feel very sad when I think about him. I have decided to make up some of my friends that I have fallen of with. Life is too short and I can't imagine losing any of them.

The UK interest rate has been reduced. I am so pleased. It means that myself and at least 1M other’s mortgage repayments will be reduced. We were beginning to feel the credit crunch in the UK. House prices are slowing down and even dropping in some parts of the country. It takes down my monthly payment to £75 less than what I am already paying. Thank Gordon Brown!

The missing man: This story is really funny. This man went missing for 5yrs and he was resumed dead. In the meantime, his wife claimed on his life insurance and recently moved to Panama, and then the man walked into the police station. One of the notorious British newspapers found a picture of him with his wife in Panama last year. Anyway, the woman has now confessed to seeing him. I can only smell fraud here! Missing man and his lying wife are due to a visit to “her majesty service” very soon!

Na wa oh.... orisirisi

2007-12-04T05:21:00.000-08:00

Nigerians and their "white is best mentality".

I was reading Jeremy’s blog today about someone running Project Management workshops in naija and one of his public sector client in the audience stood up to ask " where are the white trainers". Can you believe it? In this age and time, some people still have this mentality that anything good has to come from oversees and must be white. This is a slavery mentality, Inferiority complex and a complete mockery of what being Nigerian and black is all about. When would Nigerians begin to support and trust their own? Let the trainer's handiwork speak for itself. You only need 5mins to decide weather the person in front of you is any good. These are trainers that have worked aboard, with several multinationals and even trained this same "white people". This mentality has nothing to do with illiteracy, 'cos these are educated people and infact; if you dig deeper, you will find out that they studied abroad. I found this quite interesting 'cos myself and a partner plan to do run similar workshops in naija next year and this is one area we have been debating on and how to move forward with this expectation. Any ideas?

Infidelity - our naija men

I am not in anyway, saying all naija men are cheats here; this is just something that I have been thinking about, since I spoke to a very good friend of mine over the weekend. About a year ago, she broke up with her boyfriend of 5yrs, but she never really gave me all the dirty stories behind it. Apparently, she stopped trusting the guy. She has never caught him cheating, but there have been several rumours of him cheating with many girls behind her back. The bobo keeps denying it, each time she confronts him and she has never had any evidence to support the allegations. Anyway, the last straw was when he found out that he has dabbling in illegal activities, known as "olodu". She just could not handle it. Anyway, this brings me to my ex-boyfriend, who I dated before I met my now husband. This guy cheated on me, told me and then expected me take part responsibility for it. Firstly, I was too in love with him to believe he cheated on me, but worse was he expecting me to take responsibility for it. My people, I did not get it, and I still don't get it. I was so mad. Fortunately for him, it was a long distance relationship, I lived in the UK and he lived in America, I would have slapped his dirty mouth a few times. ( I am not a violent person, but heart break can invoke anything). I have never loved anyone like this guy, I cried so much, I nearly passed out. I remember going to work everyday and coming back home, sit in front of my TV, playing some really sad songs and cried and cried. I nearly died. I could not tell confide in anyone. I was always known as the hard one, the sensible one that takes no nonsense. I could not just admit that I have been fooled. On one of my very low days, a hosted a bridal shower in my flat and we started talking about infidelity, together with about 15 female friends and one of them said " infidelity is not enough reason to leave a man" I was so shocked, I could not believe that in this day and age, a young 24-25yrs girl will stick to a boyfriend after he had cheated. What is there to work out? How do you move on? How can you trust him? Can you ever be happy? Is love really forgiving?

Anyway, you want to know what I did. I found out who the girl was, went on a naija social networking site, which I knew she was registered and dropped a few messages for her. The annoying thing was that the girl knew I was in the picture. She even pretended she was pregnant for my ex-, which is why I heard about the whole thing. The sad thing was that my ex- big sister knew about the affair. The encouraged him, ‘cos according to him, she said “her parents are rich and she is an American citizen”. You know what, this drove me mad. I am glad I did not stick with him. His sisters is a real loser for saying such a thing and imagine having her for a sister in-law. I can’t even imagine what his mother will say if his sister can say such a thing. Anyway, my friend that said infidelity was not enough to leave a man, I just concluded that she was either a razz, insecure or her family background is just messed up. I mentally kept my distance from her. Obirin ti o ro ara re pin( a woman with low self-esteem).

I also told mum about the whole thing, I mean the boyfriend cheating and all she said was that I trust that I was smart enough to make the right decision. I have never felt so close to my mum.

If you ever stuck to a man after he cheated on you, please I want to hear from you. I don't believe it is possible to be happy in such a relationship, but I beg to be proven wrong.

Akin is gone...

2007-12-03T02:23:00.000-08:00

A friend of my mine died last Monday. I still can’t believe it. He still dropped me an offline message a few weeks ago, he just updated his Facebook pictures and I only just found out that he added a picture we took together in 2004.

Akin was a great guy, a fine young man, with a lot of things going for him. He just graduated from law school and started his career. I am still in shock! I keep going to his facebook page, to look at his pictures; he was so full of life. I remember when I first met his; he just walked up to me and we started chatting, right in the middle of campus. We talked a lot about his family, his sisters, his mum, his nieces and nephews. He told me about his nephew- Shine. He used to fancy me, but nothing ever happened between us. He added up being friends for a long time. I remember the last time I saw him, in 2004, when he came to my house with his best friend – Muyiwa. He had a really good time together, just talking about old times, his future plans etc.

Life is so unfair. How can such a much loved guy like Akin died; just like that. How can his mission on earth be completed, just after he is 30 yrs old. Is his purpose on earth fulfilled?, or the devil just decided to cut his life short? How can God-the creator of all things, who knows best, let this happen? There was no notice, no warning, it just happened. His family and friends just lost a beautiful soul!

Akin, I remember your lovely smile, the way you always smiled at me and how we spent ages, taking about our dreams the world was your oyster, and you were one of those people that grabbed life with both your hands. I remember how you always spoke of your love for your mum, how precious you were to her, how you could not leave her in Ogbomosho, ‘cos your sisters had all left home and you had to be there for her.

I remember when we met at the Lagbaja show in Ibadan, you promised to introduce me to Lagbaja, ‘cos he was your uncle, but there was a huge crowd and we just could not get through. Many years from then, I still think about how close I was to meeting Lagbaja. I remember your red car, how you used to cruise it around Ogbomosho. I remember your incident with the cult boys, how they “obtained” your belt, ‘cos the logo on it resembled the “aka cult”. I remember when Dupe was heart broken by Dapo and you called me to come and get her, and how we all walked back to the hostel together, comforting Dupe.

I still can’t cry, ‘cos I don’t believe you are gone. I was waiting to speak to your best friend – Muyiwa, maybe he will tell me it was all a big mistake. That you are still alive and kicking, with your cheeky smile. I want to hear your voice again, I want to laugh at all the stupid memories and talk about our future plans, your latest girlfriend or even your wedding. I want to ask after Shine, find out what he is up to the U.S, even though I have never met him. Also ask about your niece (Shine’ sister). All I can think about is that:

“Akin, you lived your life like a candle in the wind, but the candle burned out long before the legend ever live”

Black Woman with an African accent...was it all worth it?

2007-11-29T03:26:00.000-08:00

I have always wanted to capture my one year postgraduate study experience at Cambridge University, but it is one of those things that it is really hard to capture in one page or even explain. There were many angles to it, but today, I will like to give a positive spin to my experience at Cambridge

Was it worth it?

Yes oh! My people, it is definitely worth it
All in all, I would consider my study at Cambridge, the best life lesson I have ever experienced
I learnt that you need to have money, serious money for your voice to be heard
I learnt that you have to be seriously very good at whatever you do, to be heard
I learnt that I have the determination, focus and courage to conquer where my peers have never been, or my parents have ever been.
I learnt that family history is important
I learnt that education and being taught by the best is important
I learnt that the colour of my skin and sex is my weakness, but I can use it to my advantage
I learnt that I don’t have to be right all the time, being wrong sometimes is also a sign of courage
I learnt that I have a lot of guts and I can succeed in any environment
I learnt that a lot of my peers can find me intimidating
I learnt that I can set the pace for my generation
I learnt that I can open any doors and do anything, as long as I try
I learnt that failure is also an important lesson to learn
I learnt that my report writing is not good enough, I don’t pronounce words properly and I need to work on it
I learnt that I need to learn a second language
I learnt that God is able and can do all things, as long as I trust him and wait on him
I learnt that God has a hand in everything I do, so I should be confident in all my decisions
I learnt that success is not given or bought; I sometimes need to fight for it
I learnt that success is only for the brave, determined and for those who seek it
So is it worth it?... it was the best education I ever received

Black Woman with an African accent...the people I met

2007-11-28T07:24:00.000-08:00

I have always wanted to capture my one year postgraduate study experience at Cambridge University, but it is one of those things that it is really hard to capture in one page or even explain. There were many angles to it, but today, I will try and capture the people I met.

The people I met

I was very curious about the people, I would meet at Cambridge, and God, was I very disappointed.
I was not disappointed in their intellectual ability or their exposure, but I was very disappointed by their attitude to Black African.
Most people in Oxbridge are snobs. Don’t get be wrong, it is not a myth.
A foreign accent with a dark skin (black), says to them you love rap music, you can dance, you are probably the diversity quota and you should count yourself lucky to have gotten into the university.
A classmate said to me once that he likes hanging out with me, when we go out, ‘cos would make him look cool.
Everyone assumes I can dance and my favourite type of music is rnb and rap music.
Someone said to be once, that my accent may be a barrier, ‘cos people may assume that I have nothing intelligent to say… and I was thinking, I am sure you mean the colour of my skin.
There was a white South African in the class, so were other white skinned foreigners with non-British accent.
The colleges are worse; it is very hard to integrate, unless of course you join one of the clubs or societies
I lived in a 3 floor block apartment, in the college for one year and no one ever spoke to me
I found that most foreigners (excluding British & Americans) feel that they have to keep away from their own.
The lecturers are usually ex-students, so they are Oxbridge all in all
Oxbridge is very biased to their own.
All the Oxbridge undergraduate students were granted full scholarships on the postgraduate course
They are also biased to Scotland. Quite a lot of applicants from Scotland got scholarships
Scholarships are quite subjective, left to the discretion of the course director and governing bodies
Everyone speaks with a “posh” accent
It was like being back to secondary school; there is the element of wanting to be seen as “posh and cool” and it is all about family history and connections.
Summer parties, formal dinners, horse racing, polo, punting etc are the order of the day.
Oxbridge students don’t work. It is discouraged. So, you study very hard and then spend the rest of the partying very hard.
Oxbridge students dodrugs, weed, ecstasy etc.
All in all, for a black woman with an African accent, it was an eye opener.

Black Woman with an African accent...how I got into Oxbridge

2007-11-27T04:07:00.000-08:00

Randomness...Inspired by Bella Naija

2007-11-26T03:13:00.000-08:00

Shopping dilemma
Hurray, it is Monday. My weekend was fab! My hussy and I are having a fab time; takes me back to when we first met. Went shopping, shopping and shopping and guess what? I bought absolutely nothing. Same problem, I went out to get a trouser suit, tried out my usual shops, Zara and Mango, but the Zara suits were the same old thing and wasn’t what I was looking for. A found a suit in Mango, which was fab, but the pants were too short. I could take out the seam, but it is a turn-up pants, so I am not sure if I can do this. Even the shop attendants, were not sure either. Hence, I left Bluewater, without buying anything. One of my problems with shopping is that I am very impatient and I have long legs, so I can’t buy pants in any shop.

I am in love, round round I go, am in love
My husband and I are off the Lausanne this weekend, his best friend is graduating from IMD, just completed his MBA. We are really looking forward to it. This will be our 3rd trip together, since getting married and the last two, have not been exactly great. We ended up fighting… imagine that. We are both very strong willed and being together can be very challenging sometimes. I still love him though. He is my better half. He really knows me like no-one else does. We are just in that process of “letting go” to each other and it is one of the hardest phase of a marriage. It could take months or even years. We are working on it.

Waiting on God... waiting for the wind of change, expecting to wind of change
I am waiting on God for two things right now and I am really praying and trying to fast sometimes. All I am hearing from God is “Wait, I will do everything you ask for me”. Like I mentioned earlier, I can be very impatient, but I know that God will do it. God has truly been kind to me, he has always been my provider, but every now and then, the devil’s thoughts creep in and it is really hard to stay focused on God’s eyes. These are my Christmas present and I know God will deliver in time for Christmas. The bible says “As the dogs looks upon the hands of the master for food, and the maiden to her mistress, so shall I do unto him the provider of all” … this is an amalgamation of both a bible verse and mine.

Mama, I just want you to know...Inspired by Mummy Monday
I spoke to my mum last night, after three weeks. I don’t speak to her very often, not anymore. My sister and I fell out and she took my sister’s side, even when she knew my sister was very wrong. I am really struggling to forget the incident and mend my relationship with my mum, but I don’t trust her anymore. For me, trust is fundamental to everything I do. I can stop being friends with anyone, if I don’t trust them. I know she is trying to protect my sisters, but I don’t believe she should do so, at the expense of the truth. Every time I think about it, I wonder what kind of mother I will be like and I know in my heart that I will always stand for the truth, no matter how much it hurts. How can you protect anyone that knows what they are doing and deliberately do the wrong things and hurt other people? It hurts me every time I speak to her, because I want to say things to her, laugh with her, but I simply can not trust her anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I will do anything for her and she is the pillar of my success today and I will not be who I am today. Sometimes, I don’t know if she changed, or she has always been the same person and I just never looked at her faults closely enough, until she hurt me. Can I forgive my mum and move on from this drama?

My charity.. what inspires me

2007-11-23T06:10:00.000-08:00

I am so excited that some of you are reading my blog. Thanks alot and keep the comments flowing. Someone was interested in the charity program I mentioned in an earlier blog and wanted to know more. Here you go.

About a month ago, I started thinking about my life, questioning what I currently do ( for those that know me well, I am very critical of myself - it is a strong self development trait that I learnt many years ago). I remember when my hubby and I were attending marriage counselling classes and at the last session, our pastor said he would like to introduce us to the head pastor, just for a final word. Well, we met him and there was one thing he said " Pastor xyz has told you all you need to know to prepare for this journey of marriage, but what I would like to add to it is " you need to search, know and understand what your purpose in life is"... At this point, I was thinking" Is this not irrelevant"? It was one of those strange meetings that you don't find useful, because it did not speak to your immediate need, but I remember it. Anyway, it all came back to me a month ago. I started speaking to God about my purpose and what exactly I came into this world to do. About the same time, I started reading Funmi Iyanda's blog and she blogged about her visit to the all saints orphanage in Lagos and it really inspired me.

Also, I had a conversation with one of my long term friends and I am also a godmother to her son. She told me that she has discovered her purpose in life, and that was to go into the church ministry fulltime. She said it was the only think she ever did well, even back at school. This girl is not a bookworm at all. Even during prep, she slept. She was only at her sharpest when she was praying or just worshipping God. Teachers used to say she will never pass or amount to anything. By the way, she is a graduate now, but she was just one of those people that did not have the brains to study. Even though I had my reservations about her going into full time ministry (this is for another time), but I thought she was really brave. She is only 27ys and she made that decision. I admire her, forsaking all pleasures of life (money, career etc.). All these kept me thinking. Trust me, I have things I am doing and things I would like to do, that will keep me occupied until my death, but I was searching for something deeper.

I know that one of my joys in life is to contribute to the development of naija, one way or the other. My passions in this area include manufacturing, consulting and education. Also, I am passionate about the development of children, especially underprivileged ones. So I decided to join forces with Funmi Iyanda, to help this orphanage. The idea to send clothes, books and toys to this orphanage at Christmas, Easter, and the summer was born.

I would like to say that I sent an email to about 10 friends in the UK and 5 of them responded and I have a 32kg of clothes, books and toys, due to be shipped to naija for xmas. I am so grateful to these people. My target for Easter is to get 64kg to the orphanage. Let me know if you can help. I am happy to collect them anywhere in London, wash them, clean them and ship at my own expense. These are used or unwanted clothes, toys, shoes and books for children and maybe adults. God bless you.

Yaradua move on...

2007-11-23T01:25:00.000-08:00

OK guys, I don't have a problem with Yaradua, trying to undo the wrongs of Obasanjo, what I have a problem is Yaradua, spending the last 6months of a 4yrears mandate undoing all the wrongs of Obasanjo. Is the bakassi issue with Cameroon really a priority? When Obasanjo was in government, with the agreement of his government (which hopefully consulted all relevant stakeholders), a decisionw as made; Cameroun could have the disputed territory. Now Yaradua, has decided otherwise, saying it did not follow the right process. He now wants to take it through the senate house, has this man forgotten that these were the same people in government when Obasanjo was there? Yaradua's legacy should not be undoing what Obasanjo did, he should focus more on what really affects the common man. Sort out unemployment, bad roads, education, power etc. Our current oil resources should be able to give us these. Who is going to remember for giving us bakassi back?

The power of money...

2007-11-20T14:17:00.001-08:00

I really understand how people can be arrogant; I just don't get it, especially because they have money. I have been having conversations with this guy, that is suppose to be my friend and we have tried to do a few things in the last 2years, but nothing has come out of it. The guy used to work for minister in naija and he claims to know the right people in Abuja, to do business with. Of course, as long as I am not bribing anyone, I am interested, especially as I would like to go back to naija in the future.

I was suppose to meet this guy at the weekend, but I was at another meeting and I eventually rang this bobo at 5pm, that we can either meet half way in London or postpone our meeting till Monday. I just could not spend another 2 hrs going to see him, with some samples of the products I got from him. Well, the guy was obviously not pleased with it, but he expected me to meet him the next day, a Sunday. Impossible, I don't know where he got that from, but Sunday is spent with my hubby and nothing and no one gets in the way. Anyway, on Monday left the samples at home and rang in as soon as I left home to say I could not see him, as I did not have the samples with me. He did not sound too pleased, but I just ignored him. I could not believe it, when I called in today about meeting up and he just started shouting, he was so rude, he even hung up the phone. Everyone says this guy is arrogant and the money he made in Abuja, rolling with ministers has gotten into his head, but I have never experienced this side of him. I was so mad, so disappointed that someone I respected and held in high esteem could be so rude. No offence, but I make more money that this guy, I am not a lay about, I am better qualified than him, I may not have a fat bank account, family connection or Abuja connection, but I am not a lay about or a loser and I am not begging him for this business. It was a proposal from him, He is not doing me damn favour.

I was so livid today; he called me back later and started ranting about other things. I told him where to stick it, along with his business proposal. I work with a Nigerian based consulting firm, on another project and they have never treated me this. The guy remains my friend, but aspiring woman takes no bullshit from another. I am a go getter and I will make my contacts myself. Let him roast with his bad attitude.

Has any one experienced this kind of treatment, working for naija based people?

The madness continues?:Mini thief thief and Siemens

2007-11-19T07:06:00.000-08:00

It has happened again. Some mad people don put naija under the spotlight again. Former communications ministers are involved in bribery allegations by Siemens. Siemens has pleaded guilty and yet the stupid fat cats in naija are denying it. The culprits include: Chief Cornelius Adebayo, Dr. Mohammed Bello, the late Alhaji Haruna Elewi, and Maj.-Gen. Tajudeen Olarewaju (rtd), by the way, they are all Obasanjo's ministers. These four idiots have dragged naija's name to the gutters again, the international media is mopping it up. Nigeria only makes the news in the International community for only two reasons, when there is problem in the Niger delta and when corruption allegations are brought on government ministers .

I hear say Ibori and London Metropolitan(MET) still dey drag allegations of theft and the crazy man is still walking the streets of Nigeria; a completely free man, them never make am alagbon tenant? Delta people are quiet, they are standing up to this original thief thief, this prodigal son. He has laundered Delta people’s in UK banks. My mama na Asaba woman, abi make I go Natwest or Barclays go collect my inheritance?

Where are the UK and European banks in all of these? Siemens did not withdraw millions of pounds in euros and carried it in “Ghana must go bags”, these monies where transmitted via European banks. Where is the European commission in all of these? Where are the people of Brussels and their regulations, accountability and transparency?...

Yaradua wants the case investigated. This man too slow, e go use 4years think about the case and drag it through the courts and nothing will come out of it. After that, the same people will get rid of them. I don tire for naija!

When will things change in my motherland? When will the voice of the people prevail? When will the west practice what they preach in their own country? When would they stop accepting millions and thousands of money, from non-residents and not bothered about the legitimacy of the source? When would my people stand up and speak in one voice? When would my people carry placards and stand up for the truth? When would we have true democracy in all it entirety?

This is my placard oh! This is my protest? This is my cry from Freedom, not from colonial masters, not from poverty, not from war, but from my own people, the generation of my parents. When would the pharaohs of Nigeria let my people go? I no dey wait for Moses again oh!, I am the Moses of my own destiny and my own people and this is my placard. Where is your placard?

EFFC probe Obasanjo?...Obasanjo dey die?

2007-11-16T06:59:00.000-08:00

I hear say EFCC wan probe Obasanjo, oti o , it is not possible, how, wetin happen?, is this naija?, abi obasanjo don catch some serious illness we go kill na before the probe finish?

Yesterday, I was just looking through the world of blogville, and lo and behold, I found some blogs of people that I actually know. Actually, let me rephrase, I got to know them better after I finished reading some of their postings. Very inspirational.. Here is one from women connect

It Friday today and I have spent the last 2 days working from home, being in doors for 2 days is doing my head in, so I am looking forward to tomorrow.

The efn forum will be quite interesting. I received a surprise call from the communications manager today to confirm my attendance for tomorrow and he wanted me to find him at the event, 'cos he has something for me. I will wait and see. One of the things to be discussed tomorrow is ideas for next year, as I will spend tonight looking through the vision of the forum, to put together some of my ideas for tomorrow's discussions. A few things I already have in mind, how we can contribute to development and revival of the manufacturing sector in naija. 'cos to be honest, that is definitely one of the unexploited economic areas in Nigeria. Look at how china has now become the manufacturing hob of the world. We have the cheap labour, the highly skilled people, maybe not the infrastructure (light, good road, water etc.), but naija is one of those countries that you can still make money. Another to put forward is how to create and enable partnering opportunities with corporate organisations in naija, to enable university students in naija use us as a platform to gain paid and unpaid work experience in Nigeria, just before they graduate. So this is not nysc, this is the compulsory industry placement for students.

Education, literacy in Naija

2007-11-15T06:56:00.000-08:00

Life no easy oh. Even though I am working from home today, I am on conference calls back to back. Things are really hectic at work right now, decisions to be made, reports to be written and presentations to complete.

Even though it is Friday tomorrow and the weekend is approaching, I still have alot of things to do. I am off to the engineering forum of Nigeria annual general meeting, I am meeting a friend straight after to talk about a business proposal in naija and then I am going around London to pick up donations for my orphanage project in naija.

In the middle of all these, I am trying to be a good wife and home keeping. Yoruba say “I no go die"... the Lord is my strength.

I am thinking about writing some children books, pre-primary school age, to promote literacy in naija and Africa. I started thinking about this when I met a lovely and very intelligent 2ys 6mth old girl in London recently. She is Nigeria, but in the UK on holiday and her mum bought her one of these "A is for Apple, B is for Boat" books and 'cos she does not live in the UK or in a developed society, she could not relate to some of the things in the book. e.g. “e is for elf",” f is for fairy"... I can imagine naija parents in naija thinking, elf ke!, that is demonic, that is ogbanje or that na witch! The problem with this is her level of awareness of very simple words and a wider vocabulary is limited. I remember when I came back to the UK, I realised that I lacked some basic vocabularies, to help me socially interact with people easily.

I know this is a wide thought, but I guess if I can give the book away free to nursery and primary schools in Nigeria, then I will have to pay for the publishing and distribution of the books itself. The other way to go about it is producing the book, together with another one, which people will receive free when they buy one of them. Another option is to get some form of grant or funding to publish and distribute the book for free. I guess I need to find a funding geared towards media literacy, education, and awareness etc. Any ideas of how to go about doing this in naija and Africa?

I have just seen a charity organisation that produced a cyberbullying DVD and got some corporate organisations and the government pay for the production and distribution to all schools in the UK. You can view the DVD here :http://www.digizen.org/cyberbullying/.

Or if anyone knows a government department, or corporate organisation that would like to support literacy in young children in Nigeria, put them by way.

Nigeria

2007-11-12T07:10:00.000-08:00

A few things today, ex-governors have agreed a pact with EFCC to return stolen loot. I remain shocked at the poor level of accountability in Nigeria. Imagine, "steal and return" and you are free to roam the streets of Nigeria. Mind you, some of these ex-governors, will in future still hold other government posts e.g presidency, senators, ministers etc. Until Nigerians can stand up for themselves and say "enough is enough", the country will continue to be governed by a bunch of greedy and stupid individuals.

I read somewhere that some girls may have been raped at Tu fac survival party and the writer said " it is no surprising, the girls were inapropriately dresses..." In this day and age, a writer or journalist can see nothing wrong in girls being raped because they wear provocative clothes.

Nigeria lost to Glasgow to host the next common wealth games. I am so pleased. Imagine if we won, another opportunity for the fat cats to steal money. We are not ready for this type of competition. I remember what happened when we had the opportunity to host Miss World; all the killings and loss of propertities, because of naked girls during the ramadan!If we host the games, some lunatics will start stirring trouble, asking participates not to wear sports clothes, shorts, swim wears etc. Please Nigeria is not ready to dislay its dirty washing yet again to the rest of the world again Some say, no african country has ever hosted the games, well I understand that and I think a African country should get the opportunity to do so, but Nigeria is not ready. We need to sort out the basic necessities of life ( electricity, food and water) for our 150M citizens.

It is Friday tomorrow

2007-11-08T11:04:00.000-08:00

I am so pleased that it is friday tomorrow.

I spend my day at the media literacy conference today. for those that don't know, media literacy is the process of accessing, analyzing, evaluating and creating messages in a wide variety of media modes, genres and forms. It uses an inquiry-based instructional model that encourages people to ask questions about what they watch, see and read.- wiki

The conference was pulled togther a number of speakers across many industries - education, polict, government, media etc and looking at the emergence of web 2.0 - a perceived second generation of web-based communities and hosted services — such as social-networking sites, wikis and folksonomies — which aim to facilitate creativity, collaboration and sharing between users. - wiki. The debate on the risks to children was discussed and how what and where the collective responsibility of ensuring that children and vunerable people can access, enjoy, learn and protect themselves when online.- wiki

More interestingly, the presentation from yemisi blake and jelly ellie was the most inspirational.

What I am thinking

2007-11-06T04:08:00.000-08:00

This week is turning out to be very busy for me. I am in Leeds today, attending meetings, till tomorrow. I might go shopping this evening, to the white rose shopping mall, I hear is very cheap. On my way today, on the virgin train, which by the way did not have a power outlet for my laptop, I started working on my biograghy for the speaking engagement in January. I am not sure what to write and what people will be interested in. I am quite a rookie in the area.Spoke to my husband, for some confidence boost on the phone, about my first attempt at my biograpghy and he said I should start by writing bullet points of what I wanted people in the conference to know. I looked at biogragragh of the other panelist, and these people are "head of something something" and here, I am just a manager. Anyway, I will keep working on it.

I want a new car!, I am on my second car in 4years and I feel like I should get a nice sleek four wheel drive. Too expensive, I know this is not the time to start thinking about this.

I have been thinking about going back to the gym. I have added alot of weight in 8 months. Last year, I lost 2 dress sizes from controlled eating and 3x a week visit to the gym.

My husand & I are off to lausanne, switzerland at the end of the month, for his best friend's graduation. he just completed his MBA, from IMD. My husabnd is studying for his GMAT now, his second attempt and I saw on his laptop last night, a list of the top 6 schools in the world that he will be applying to. I was so nervous, I know he can do it and I am willing him to do it. He is a fantastic person, very disciplined and very focus... I am not sayign this because he is my husband, but any company will be lucky to have him. He is the most incorruptible Nigerian I know. And did I mention that he is a perfectionist!

weekend fun

2007-11-05T06:31:00.000-08:00

I no dey blog for weeekends at all. My wekend is always packed. I went to the o2 - millenium dome with my best friend this weekend- she came into town for 2 days. We had so much fun, it was hilarious!we did the video thing appearing in spice girls 2 become 2 video. It was mad. Enjoy: http://o2create.migapps.com/o2create/video/mdiyaolu@yahoo.com/hi

Also, I have been speaking to people all weekend to help with my charity work - supporting Nigeria's motherless babies orphanage. My target is to get as many clothes, DVDs, videos and books to these homes in time for christmas. If anyone is reading this blog and would like to help, please let me know.

I went to a friend's party this weekend and I saw some girl that I don't like?, believe me, I don't hate her but I just can't get along with her, so I try to avoid her. She is too superficial. She has the naija girl mentality " suck up to my boyfriend's friends". The girl is just unreal.

I just finished reading the Icarus girl by Helen Oyeyemi and I actually had nightmares about it. Well written book though. I am proud of her. I am starting on The opposite house, by the same author. Wish me luck.

Another exciting thought, I am speaking at a public engagment in January, it is a first for me, so I am very excited. I have been told to send a biograpghy for the conference brochure and I am not sure what to write. Any thoughts anyone?... if there is anyone reading this blog of course.

Pictures from Ibadan

2007-11-02T06:53:00.000-07:00

My friend sent me a text two days ago, to say she has been receiving calls, from people in Lagos, that the wedding pictures are in "city people"- one of the lagos magazines/tabloids, filled with pictures of "who is who" at any point in time.

Enjoy all the pictures are attached.

Back from Ibadan/Lagos

2007-10-17T01:22:00.000-07:00

I got back from Nigeria two days ago and I have to say that this weekend was the most enjoyable weekend since my wedding. I had so much fun!. The weding was in Ibadan, which I have not visited since 1998. My friend's wedding was a blast, and I was asked to do the toast, which I ended up giving a long speech...

I travelled via virginnigeria and the experience was terrible, I will never travel with the airline again. Richard Branson, has definately lost a customer. To start with, the flight was delayed for 4hrs, with a similar british airways flight to Nigeria leaving on time. When you arrive at the airport, you have to go weigh your bags and have it tagged with the weight sizes, then you go to another counter to convert your eticket to a paper ticket; then you go off to the check-in desk to actually check in. Be warned this takes 2 hrs from arriving at the airport itself. While I was waiting for the delayed 4hrs flight, I met a naija guy, we started a conversation on my ipod and I asked him what he was doing to do in naija, he said he was an aspiring actor and wanted to make home video. So guys, watch out for kenny's film in the near future. I also saw someone from the Bruce family, but I saw too shy to walk up to him and have a chat. Kenny did though; and he said the guy was nice.

Back to virginnigeian horribe staffs. At the boarding area, after being delayed for 4hrs, someone made an announcement for a passenger and actually said " Can mrs...whose name that is difficult to pronounce please come to the service desk" I did not actually hear the announcement, but my friend - Kenny did. He went up to the service desk to complain and when he told me, I was furious, hard to comprehend. We were treated like animals and charity cases. Can you imgine being treated like that on a british airways flight? Shocking! Anyway, that was the low lights of the whole trip. Also, before I forget, the flight was also delayed on my way back sunday night for 3hs.

Has anyone had a bad experience with virginnigeria? we have to stand up and make them take notice of their horrible staff and bad service! The airline is becoming a re-incarnation of Nigeriaairways.

Off to Lagos

2007-10-09T07:46:00.000-07:00

I am off to Lagos for 4 days, to attend a dear friend's wedding, wedding is taking place in the ancient city of Ibadan. I am so excited, really loooking forward to it.

I have done a bit of shoppin for families and I plan to have swell time in Lagos and Ibadan. It willa lso be great to see my friends.

Home, sweet home, here I come!

Career and marriage?... am I struggling?

2007-09-26T04:21:00.000-07:00

Today is one of those days that I question how I am coping with being married and working towards a high flying career.

I hear of woman that have it all and the promise from the governement and companies that there are policies and opportrunities in place to make it possible. Then, I throw in the element of being black, then my thooughts get messier.

Is there any young, black, married, career-minded, christian female out there that has it all?

That reminds me, I am also the first child of three children and constantly supporting my siblings to reach for the skies. How can I do all things and do it successfully?

What do I do?

2007-09-25T08:45:00.000-07:00

I am one of those people, called "contractors", but I see myself as an "interim manager"; gaining varying experience across many companies and building up a nice portfolio of expertise within a very short period of time.