Life updates

I really can’t get this love blog going. I have a pile of drafts of post somewhere in my inbox, but I think I would have to stop because my better half is quite a private person and I am beginning to think he will catch up with me sooner rather than later. He works in IT and he is very good finding stuffs on the Internet. It is only a matter of time before he sees this blog.

General life updates.

I work with some girl at work and she is really horrible. She seems to have drawn a battle line between myself and her and she constantly undermines me and makes emails a battle front. I work for one of the biggest financial houses in the world and it is really a shame to see that despite all their stringent interview processes, they still manage to hire people that seem to want to either make life hard for others or simply will not be professional. Trust me, I don’t have to be friends with any other at work, but I expect complete mutual respect for anyone, regardless of the job title or position. She actually makes me nervous.. and have a really tough skin. I definitely have no intention to stay longer than the length of my contract. To think that the project itself is not complicated or difficult and it is just people adding a layer of complication to the project. She is very defensive of her deliverables and will never take any responsibility for failures or issues made by her team. It is like she feels the need to “put me in place” all the time, which is a difficult possible to be in, if you are a business rep and accountable to the business; not a technical function. She is by far the worse technical lead I have ever dealt with. We tried to have a chat about it 2months ago and I actually cleaned the slate and started from that point, but so far, she has been a nightmare. Anyway, I am counting down to the end of my contract here. I have not worked hard all my life to be constantly undermined by someone like her. She has also kick –start a wave of bad reviews for me. I have never experienced anything like this before but she has a “reporting to your boss” attitude. I have had constant feedbacks of “she lack….” All coming/originating from her ONLY.

How do I do my work and yet handle this girl?

I went to a wedding this weekend and saw all the “cult boys” that I went to school with, in another life. I heard they are all yahoo boys now and it was so embarrassing to realise that I actually said hello to one of them and he remembered me and then introduced me to others… It was like being one’s worse nightmare. To think that people actually make a career decision to be fraudsters... shocking in many ways.

Part 1: How dangerous is love?

I would like to do a series, this month on the matters of the heart and try to lay bare my innermost thoughts. Here goes my first post. Happy reading.


People talk about how wonderful love is, how kind, sweet and perfect it feels when you are in love, but today, I want to explore how dangerous love really is and maybe attempt to explore the fear that is attached to being in love. I know many people may never think about this when they are in love and would rather focus on the good bits and the perfection of love. I am quite the opposite. I have a wandering mind that allows me to explore the good and bad of any situation. The ability to do this should influence my decision; but I will be lying if it has ever had anything to do with matters of my heart. So here is my story…

I sometimes, try to describe the kind of love that I have for my husband and sometimes, even when I think about it, it stirs up such powerful emotions, that threatens to tear my soul from my spirit (if you obviously believe soul is different from spirit). I met someone recently and I tried to describe the love I have for my husband and the only thing I could say is that “he is my life” and “all that I live for”. I did not even have to think about it, it just pop out of my mouth!

What I said that day is still on my mind and I get realty terrified to think that I have given myself to another fallible human being like this.

So, here is the dangerous side of the love I feel


I see a tomorrow, with no end to the love I have for you; even is you ever leave me.

I love you to even accept that you may stop loving me some day.

In my heart, I continue to will you to fulfil your potential, even at the expense of losing you to your dreams.

I love you to accept that if I die, I would want you to meet someone else and make a life with that woman.

I love you to accept that you may love our children and share a greater bond with them.

I love you enough to accept that I may not be the only source of your happiness.

I love you to accept that all that you will never change and all I don’t like about you will never go away.

I love you so much to accept that you may stop me from fulfilling my destiny, outside of marriage.