Almost a year...

I can't believe it has been almost one year since I last blogged. Being a mum is a full time job oh!. I am trying to get back into work and the job market is not even funny at all.

I think I am back

Wow, I can’t believe I am back here. I was actually going to call it a day and stop blogging for good. Saying that, I have been roaming other people’s blog and dropping alot of anonymous comments, because I am too lazy to log in.

What have I been up to?

Regrets: I wish I never did it
A lot of things have been happening to me since I last blogged. I have been dealing with a lot of issues, but God has been faithful; life is good.

I recently wished I never did something I did 7 years ago (21yrs), it is one of those things I thought I had a figured out, but now I completely regret it. I have spent the last 2months looking back and wishing I never did it, wishing I knew better or someone actually told “why I should not do it”… This is the one regret I have in my life right now. I am not beating myself over it, but I am simply wondering what life will be right now and maybe how better things would have turned out if I never did.

Letting go…
I have also spent the last 5months simply “letting go…” letting others make their own mistakes, no matter how painful and hurtful it is watching them take the wrong path. One of my friends told me that I might be wrong and my view might not be only way…. I beg to differ, especially when it comes to your own family

Becoming a mother…
Yes oh! WE are having a baby next year. It is the most thrilling experience I have ever been through. Everyday is different, sleepless nights, backaches, swollen feet, swollen hands, big belly, bigger hips, fat, fat fat! Hubby and I have been window shopping for nursery things and of course, not agreeing on most things… the joy of being pregnant. I think it is going to be a girl, ‘cos hubby is always playing with only baby girls… I think he also wants a girl anyway (believe it or not). He has a favourite baby girl (one of his friend’s baby) and believe me; hubby can talk about this baby without getting tired, even if you interrupt him when he is watching Arsenal.

All my friends hate me right now…
I don’t call anyone anymore. I am too tired to pick up phone calls or even call anyone. I just want sleep and sleep.

Mother in law or own mother
I don’t know about anyone else, but I prefer my mother-in law to my mum right now. My mum is driving me crazy. She comes up with the weirdest things on earth and her words are so hurtful something. I don’t call her very often anymore, ‘cos there will always be one drama or the other!

Sisters or brother?
Why don’t I have brothers instead of sisters? Sisters are something else!

I am inspired
Obama’s victory continues to inspire me and I really wish the guy well. Dragon’s den stories even inspire me more. When will my big idea come? When will I become a millionaire and live the life of luxury?

Credit crunch
I am leaving my job in 5weeks for obvious reasons… the credit crunch. My company made a lot of people redundant and my contract will not be renewed. My team was split up etc. Anyway, I am not afraid; I will not be looking for anything else, until the baby comes. Of course, I am thinking of taking more exams… if I don’t come up with my “big idea” whilst I am at home, my contingency plan is to work towards being a programme director. I think it should only take me another 2years. I will be going for programme manager roles next year… and take it from there. Wish me luck


Naija politics
Where do I start? Infact, lets forget it. Have you seen the profiles of the proposed new ministers? About 5 of them have no formal qualifications apart from national diplomas. With all the educated people in Nigeria?.... baba yardy is joke.

Life updates

I really can’t get this love blog going. I have a pile of drafts of post somewhere in my inbox, but I think I would have to stop because my better half is quite a private person and I am beginning to think he will catch up with me sooner rather than later. He works in IT and he is very good finding stuffs on the Internet. It is only a matter of time before he sees this blog.

General life updates.

I work with some girl at work and she is really horrible. She seems to have drawn a battle line between myself and her and she constantly undermines me and makes emails a battle front. I work for one of the biggest financial houses in the world and it is really a shame to see that despite all their stringent interview processes, they still manage to hire people that seem to want to either make life hard for others or simply will not be professional. Trust me, I don’t have to be friends with any other at work, but I expect complete mutual respect for anyone, regardless of the job title or position. She actually makes me nervous.. and have a really tough skin. I definitely have no intention to stay longer than the length of my contract. To think that the project itself is not complicated or difficult and it is just people adding a layer of complication to the project. She is very defensive of her deliverables and will never take any responsibility for failures or issues made by her team. It is like she feels the need to “put me in place” all the time, which is a difficult possible to be in, if you are a business rep and accountable to the business; not a technical function. She is by far the worse technical lead I have ever dealt with. We tried to have a chat about it 2months ago and I actually cleaned the slate and started from that point, but so far, she has been a nightmare. Anyway, I am counting down to the end of my contract here. I have not worked hard all my life to be constantly undermined by someone like her. She has also kick –start a wave of bad reviews for me. I have never experienced anything like this before but she has a “reporting to your boss” attitude. I have had constant feedbacks of “she lack….” All coming/originating from her ONLY.

How do I do my work and yet handle this girl?

I went to a wedding this weekend and saw all the “cult boys” that I went to school with, in another life. I heard they are all yahoo boys now and it was so embarrassing to realise that I actually said hello to one of them and he remembered me and then introduced me to others… It was like being one’s worse nightmare. To think that people actually make a career decision to be fraudsters... shocking in many ways.

Part 1: How dangerous is love?

I would like to do a series, this month on the matters of the heart and try to lay bare my innermost thoughts. Here goes my first post. Happy reading.


People talk about how wonderful love is, how kind, sweet and perfect it feels when you are in love, but today, I want to explore how dangerous love really is and maybe attempt to explore the fear that is attached to being in love. I know many people may never think about this when they are in love and would rather focus on the good bits and the perfection of love. I am quite the opposite. I have a wandering mind that allows me to explore the good and bad of any situation. The ability to do this should influence my decision; but I will be lying if it has ever had anything to do with matters of my heart. So here is my story…

I sometimes, try to describe the kind of love that I have for my husband and sometimes, even when I think about it, it stirs up such powerful emotions, that threatens to tear my soul from my spirit (if you obviously believe soul is different from spirit). I met someone recently and I tried to describe the love I have for my husband and the only thing I could say is that “he is my life” and “all that I live for”. I did not even have to think about it, it just pop out of my mouth!

What I said that day is still on my mind and I get realty terrified to think that I have given myself to another fallible human being like this.

So, here is the dangerous side of the love I feel


I see a tomorrow, with no end to the love I have for you; even is you ever leave me.

I love you to even accept that you may stop loving me some day.

In my heart, I continue to will you to fulfil your potential, even at the expense of losing you to your dreams.

I love you to accept that if I die, I would want you to meet someone else and make a life with that woman.

I love you to accept that you may love our children and share a greater bond with them.

I love you enough to accept that I may not be the only source of your happiness.

I love you to accept that all that you will never change and all I don’t like about you will never go away.

I love you so much to accept that you may stop me from fulfilling my destiny, outside of marriage.

CHANGE, we can believe in

Obama made it. He has written his name in the book of history! The first black man, in the histroy the United States of America to be nominated as a presidential candidate. People say race and the clour of of your skin remains a controversial issue in the U.S and the rest of the world, I agree, but change is here.

Obama is the face of the new "black race", he is the face of the faceless and voiceless black man and woman in the world, who have been told they will never amount to anything. Obama is the face of teh oppressed black,white,male and female, child and adult, that will help unite the world.

Obama is the change that the world needs. He is the refreshing voice of a better and united world. Obama will listen to the oppressed, the poor, the rich and he will provide the path of light, to take us to the "promise land journey"... the promised land is a continuous journey and we have lost our way.

Obama: The world is tired of the wars in the middle east, the faminine, hunger and corruption in Africa. We need to sit down with the "these people" and find a solution to all the tears and suffering.

Many many things dey happen

There must be a God
Remember my friend that I blogged about any weeks ago, who was looking for a job, well guys, he just landed himself a six figure sum. I am so happy for him. If anyone deserved it, it is definitely him. It is a reminder to me and everyone else that God is there, he listens and he is faithful. He fulfills his promise to us! I am seriously tapping into my friend's blessing and my wait and everyone else's wait is over.

Iyabo Obasanjo
I heard she was held in custody for 48hrs and then granted bail. How can you grant bail to someone that has refused to visit EFCC to answer corruption allegations against her? Wonders shall never end. A whole ex-president's daughter, a senator and yet she refused to visit EFCC to explain herself. Nigerians have absolutely no respect for the rule of the land, even when they are part of the law! Her father is still caught up in his past, with all the wasted money spent on power generation. e go better oh!

My hairdresser
I met a wonderful lady recently and it is very rarely that I meet Nigerian girl/lady that actually impress/challenge me. She is well known in the "upcoming Nigerian girls living in London circuit". She is an educated young lady, that has followed her calling of hairdressing. We had a good chat about almost everything and I was impressed by her breath of knowledge and interest. She is into theatre, reads loads of books, knows her politics - UK and the world etc. She even attends a book club! What can I say about this lady, she is very rare!... I don't really want to mention her name, 'cos I would rather not let this go back to her.

Facebook
What is it with people that use facebook to show off? My "friend" and I are always laughing at people that use facebook to "keep up with the Jones". Why would you really want to tell the world where and what you are doing? I don't get it at all. Do you really want 500friends, including the whole world know that you are in China right now and you are on your way to France the next day? I thought status update is really for quirky and fun updates. What is it about the pictures and everyone's comments? For the people keep tagging me in ugly pictures, PLEASE STOP( I am still trying to figure out how to untag myself from other people's pictures). People leave comments on pictures that are clearly not flattering!!!!!!!!! One of my school mates, had a picture of his wife, in the labour room, with her belly exposed.. all the stretch marks. God, how unflattering, I thought these are personal pictures that should not be for the whole world to see? Enough of the ranting, people stop putting your lives on facebook. It is very silly!!!!!!!

Obama and Clinton
Obama is on his way to victory and make history. Go Obama, go Obama... Many people say Clinton should step down and let Obama go on. I say let her continue to fight on. She is also part of this history, the first woman to attempt to make it to the white house and really if she stepped down, people will always say that Obama won off the back of a woman that stepped down.

I am reading Barrack Obama's book: The Audacity of Hope. Also reading " Rich dad, Poor dad. I will keep you updated about what I think about Obama.

Politics and me
I am thinking of joining the conservative party, at a local/grassroot level. People say I am too blunt and will not do well as a politician. I am going to test myself in the next 3weeks, when I will be attending a conference (sustainable power generation in Nigeria) with Nigerian politicians. I will see if I can hold my tongue, when I am seated at a table to Bankole ( house of rep) or the minister of Power. I will keep you all posted.

I miss blogging

hi everyone,

I hope life is good and the world of blogging is doing good. Life has been very busy recently, with my new job and I tend to leave work after 6pm, and by the time I head to the gym and eat dinner, I am too tired to even go online. Don't worry, I will be back soon.